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The cyan ocean waves came rolling up onto the North Shores beach. Crashing once they came to the end of the ocean line to the shoreline. At those exact moments, remembering things that just seem so cliché made my heart tingle inside. In the most tranquil environment, that makes us become inspired with the delightful evening that had come around. The band assembled, but behind the scenes butterflies flew around. There were two people waiting for that time to tie the knot, but there was still confusion and doubt going through the air, but deep down I knew we could conquer any problems that came our way. We were the army and we were undefeatable. Strong and fearless I knew it was the time! “Sweetie, are you ready to do this?”
“Not yet dad… I was still trying to figure things out.” Pacing back and forth, I thought about what was going on. I tilted my head upwards and stared at that safe place, the ceiling of the tent. Just examining the white tent draped above both my dad and my head. I tried to stretch out and reach the safe place but wasn’t succeeding. “Oh my god,” I fiddled with my fingers in my lap. Lifting little layers of my princess white wedding dress, I tried any way to get the nerves to fade away and know that I was making a good decision as I replied reluctantly, “Am I going to do this or not?” I rambled to myself. “I know that I want to, but do I really genuinely want to go through with this?” As I rambled, my dad looked at me pace, “Am I just being crazy? Do I really love him?” I sat down in a chair not knowing what to say next. Seeing my dad’s sweat fall down his face just made it worse.
He reached into the pocket of his jacket and took out his handkerchief; dabbing his forehead from right to left. “Yes? No? I don’t know what to do anymore,” I released a groan of exasperation. I stood up and walked toward my dad and sat next to him. I glanced up at him and waited some guidance. “Tell me what to do! I’m begging you for this one thing.” He was just about to open his mouth to say something when I cut him off. “No, Never mind, you cannot control my life all the time anymore.” I stood up and made my way to the mirror chair. Looked at my reflection and replied, “It’s my decision to make it up and I will make it even if it does not turn out the way I hoped it would have.” I made that decision, I felt like it was the best one I had made that day.
My dad sighed with a release and of happiness that he did not have to make up an answer and get blamed for it later. We glanced at each other, waiting for a sign; any kind. Then, all of a sudden, a gust of wind swept through the little cracks between the bottom of the tent and the ground. The cool breeze traveled to my father and I was the sign that both of us needed in the long run. Watching my dad come closer to me and, he sat next to me, right in front of the mirror. I murmured to him, “hopefully I’ll decide before everyone starts to leave. They might be thinking that I don’t want to go through with it.”
My dad came up behind me and gave me a hug and said the simplest statement I had heard in a while. “ Kelly, you will make the decision that you want to make and just to tell you I am behind you one hundred percent.”
I started to zone out into my own world where I could only see myself in that mirror. I examined myself, not just the outside but the inside too. I got that fuzzy feeling in my heart that I knew everything was going to be okay for now on. I replayed scenes of me and my dad sitting on those two chairs, me in my white, beautiful princess dress layered all around the chair and my dad in his tux; and him just looking at me in satisfaction and grabbing my trembling hands. His words repeating over and over again in my head, “Listen to what your heart is telling you to do… forget all about what today is... clear your mind and truly think. Kelly, think deep down into your heart and figure out what you want.” I remembered that moment made me open up to my father like I had never done before.
I became aware of the surroundings and knew that this life changing moment was just an hour away. I finally decided to tell my father what was really bugging me. I just wanted it to go away without talking about it, but I figured out that it was not going away that easy. I stood up and walked to the opening of the tent to follow my father, who had left to give me the space I needed. I pulled back the tent door and poked my head through the opening. I saw, right there, just outside the door, him standing patiently looking up into the sky. I really did not know what he was doing, maybe praying. I knew that I really needed to get that something off my chest, so I spoke up, “Dad.”
He turned to the sound of my voice he replied, “Yes Kelly.” “Dad, I know I want to do this! And my heart wants to do this as well, but there is this one feeling that is stopping me from it.” I gulped in hesitation, “I do not want things to work out like mom and your relationship turned out to be.” My head nodded downwards and stared at the ground, “I know that is bad to say but I have to let you know what I am feeling.”
Wet winter evening was the time of day. Being able to see your breath in the freezing air. I had that feeling that something was going wrong but I had no idea what it was exactly. Looking through the keyhole in my door just to see the sight of the pushing and shoving from my mother toward my father. Confused and not knowing what was going on between them I quietly watched. The creaking of the wood panels that was beneath my knees. Every time I made a single movement to get a better look on what was going on, I just could not keep them silent. An argument that hard no end. Going back and forth, hands rising and headshakes. Until, horrifying last words that my mother said, “I am leaving you for someone who is better than you are.” My mother turned around and headed up the stairs leaving my father alone in the living room and had such a perplexed look on his face. Once you thought it could not get worse you heard banning that came from the stairs and all you could see is your mother packed up all her belongings and carried them out the door. Tears fell down my face that night and that was the last time I saw her face. The funny thing was that she never knew that I saw what she was doing that night.
I wiped my tears that were falling down my face. It felt like that moment was just yesterday. My father looked at me and said, “dear, you know that Tyler will not leave you like your mother did to you when you were little. He is a very good guy and I know that you are aware of it, but now that you are getting married in an hour you are just thinking of all of the possible bad out comes that can occur to you if he somehow turns out to be like your mother; which will never happen. Don’t worry about anything; you will always have me to be on your side and in your life forever.” I felt special at that moment as he went on, “I will always be there for you whenever you need me to be; even when my time is passed and I am no longer here in the flesh, I will always be looking after you from heaven. You will always know that I am right there with you. I love you Kelly!”
I stood up and walked toward my dad and said, “Dad, I will always love you as well; forever and ever. I am ready for the best and the worst because I know I will have two magnificent guys in my life that will be there for me; one will never leave my heart and will always have a place in his heart for his special little girls.” I hugged my dad for so long. It felt like the whole day went by with that single hug.
I heard my dad whisper into my ear, “so have you made up your mind on what you are ready to do with your life; to make you happy forever?” As my dad stared at me and kept on going on what he was saying, “I know that I am happy with my life because I have you in it to complete my heart as a whole. You’re the flame that sets my heart on fire. You are the star that will never refuse to shine; believe in yourself!” I saw him look at his watch and his lips quivered in nerves going through his body. I felt his hands start to shake and the sweat started to appear again when I felt little droplets fall down onto my face. As I released from that comforting hug that made me feel complete, I knew that I was one hundred percent positive about getting married to Tyler. I knew there was no more ways I could turn around from what I felt like when I took one more look into the mirror, my reflection, and only have good thoughts on what was about to happen to Tyler and I.
One step by another step down the yellow brick road down to happiness. I saw all the people that just sat there waiting for my arrival. I cringed onto my father’s arm as we got closer to the altar. As the congregation rose, which forced the band to smoothly transition in to the song that was the most romantic songs alive at that single moment. All the Memorizes of all their smiling faces and all I was able to think of was about not to falling. As I looked downward toward the softest ground, my colorless hands joined with my father’s; intertwined fingers which made me finally know that he will always be there for me and that meant that I don’t have to go guessing around if someone is going to hurt me later in life. My dad’s love is the most powerful thing of all time. Sunshine yellow, white, and leaf green the colors of the spring. Daisy’s throughout my free hand. Five petals on each flower and thirty- six flowers. A perfect mix of the perfect season! Right at this single moment I was really positive that I was in my true dreams of pure happiness with my dad, Tyler, and I. And nothing was going to stop it.
“Do you take Tyler as your husband?”
“And do you Tyler take Kelly to be your wife?”
“I truly do!”
“Now I pronounce you Husband and Wife, you may kiss the Bride!”
With the promising kiss of our love. I was able to give my heart to another man in my live that I knew now loves me as much as my father does!