silent summer 2

February 20, 2010
By too-many-devens SILVER, Vacaville, California
too-many-devens SILVER, Vacaville, California
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.”-Bob marley

I woke up this morning at like, 11:45. I guess I needed to sleep off what happened yesterday. I’m still really confused about that whole thing. I can’t believe that this guy who I never met before, could kiss me, let alone kiss me like he did, when I’ve been working on a guy at home for almost a year, and I can’t get anything out of him. This guy with burning fingers made me completely forget about Manuel back home. Anyway, today started off just like yesterday. I woke up to my aunts and uncles arguing. I went upstairs and got a bagel and went outside. I saw some of the kids in the pool, so I went back inside to change into my bathing suit. When I came back outside, he was there. He saw me, and started walking toward me. I ran back inside and I ran down to the basement and locked the door. I can’t explain how I felt. I was filled with so many emotions, that I could barely breathe. I was happy that he was here. That I could see him again. But at the same time, I hated him for making me feel so.....I don't know. like I said, it's hard to explain. My jumbled thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. “I’m sorry. Please open the door…..”he said. His voice was soft and beautiful. I opened the door. He stepped in and closed the door. “Abbey, what’s wrong?” How did he know my name? “How do you know my name?” I asked. “What? Abbey, are you ok?” He asked. No, I thought. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I knew that I needed him there with me, but I wanted him to go. “Are you mad at me?” he asked. I honestly didn’t know. “No, it’s just…..” He kissed me mid-sentence. I wanted him to keep kissing me, but I knew I needed to ask him some questions. The first one I think was the hardest. “Why?” I asked. “What do you mean ‘why’?” he said. “Why are you doing this? Why did you kiss me? You don’t even know me. I don’t even know your name.” He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Probably digging up some bulls*** answer. But what he said next confused me even more. But it made sense. “I don’t know….” I didn’t know what to say to that. So I didn’t say anything. “All I know is that from the moment I saw you, I knew that I had to be near you. I had to talk to you. I had to be there for you when ever you needed me, and I don’t know why. I know that we will both get hurt in the end, but I don’t know what to do! I just don’t know…….” Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. “You don’t even know me. I don’t know you…….How did this happen?” I asked. When I first saw him, I did think he was cute, and yeah, I did sort of go after him, but I never expected this to happen. I was in a situation that was going to be hard. But for the moment, I just wanted to make the best of it. I didn’t want to think about how I was going back to California in like four days, while he stayed here. I didn’t want to think about how I would never see him again. I just wanted to be happy for once. So this time when he tried to kiss me, I let him. His kiss was like opening presents on Christmas morning. Each kiss was a new present to open. A surprise each time. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. Being touched by his warm hands, but not inappropriately. He never acted like he wanted more then a kiss. He was perfect in every way. This must be what it’s like in Hell. “We need to stop.” I whispered in between a kiss. “Why?” he whispered back. That was a good question. I was loosing my grip on reality. The part of me that said what we were doing was wrong was being silenced by the screaming of the side that said don’t stop. I just had to tell myself that all this wonderful misery would be over tomorrow. So for now, I let myself give in. we kept on kissing. It felt like only five minutes had passed when we were called upstairs for dinner. We sat on opposite ends of the table, like we had never seen each other before, and ate with everyone else. When diner was over, his parents got up and left and, obviously, he followed. I hoped I would never see him again and would just forget about his fire kisses. Maybe I will……..

Maybe I won’t.

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