Among the Ashes

February 25, 2010
By Waterlogged BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
Waterlogged BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
1 article 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Winston, you are drunk." To which Churchill responded, "and you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I'll be sober,"-Lady Astor and Winston Churchill


The wind whipped through her dark hair, blowing it into her face, brushing away the tears that ran down her cheeks. Columns of smoke rose into the night, making the normally ebony sky appear grey and hazy. She stooped among the ashes, sorting through what was left of her life.


Amongst the soot lay smoldering pieces of furniture and mementos. The charred, misshapen bits of keepsakes were strewn on the ground, and she hurled them away from her in a mixture of sadness and anger. Ashes bit at her eyes, causing them to sting even more, bringing on a fresh bout of tears. Memories overwhelmed as she gazed in sullen silence at the ruins around her. This place, this wreckage, was an unwanted image that would haunt her for the rest of her days.



And she would have no one to share the pain with, for she was the only one here now. Someone had been there with her, through the heat and the agony, but the fire had consumed him as it had consumed her home. No one came to help her, because there was no one left. She was fated to walk alone, with only her memories of the past.



She began to trod among the rubble, her feet snapping the burned, brittle scraps of metal. Suddenly, she stopped. Someone stood not ten feet in front of her, bending over the ashes just as she had been. The tears of sadness that had run down her cheeks now became tears of joy. He had made it out after all! A smile broke out on her face, bringing a much needed contrast to the world of black around her.


“John?” Her voice rang out like a bell in the black silence. The figure began to walk toward her, the haze of grey still shadowing his body and face. “John! You survived!” The shroud walked toward her and reached out its hand. Emily slowly reached out hers, waiting for that familiar, tingling spark she always felt when she touched his fingertips. But with another gust of wind the figure disappeared. No one was there. No one had never been there. It was only an illusion, made out of smoke and ashes.



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This article has 14 comments.


on Jul. 20 2011 at 6:39 pm
Waterlogged BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
1 article 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Winston, you are drunk." To which Churchill responded, "and you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I'll be sober,"-Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

Sure! Ill go check it out now :)

on Jul. 20 2011 at 6:38 pm
Waterlogged BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
1 article 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Winston, you are drunk." To which Churchill responded, "and you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I'll be sober,"-Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

sure! I'll go check it out now :)

on Jul. 20 2011 at 6:38 pm
Waterlogged BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
1 article 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Winston, you are drunk." To which Churchill responded, "and you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I'll be sober,"-Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

I'd love to read some of your work :)

on Sep. 3 2010 at 10:00 am
Niftygrrl BRONZE, Norfolk, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”- dr suess

"Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself."
— John Green

Wow.This is awesome!It sorta reminded of the hunger games!

Which is a good thing!4stars =]Care to check out mine?


_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Jun. 20 2010 at 9:34 pm
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle
- Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference
-R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)
-Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

very vivid and well writen, i liked it. Can you read some of my stuff as well?

on May. 13 2010 at 8:14 pm
Ricky_Wolf BRONZE, Spartanburg, South Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 18 comments
Really good. It's really poetic, and your writing makes a very good image in the readers head. 5 stars. Please check out my story.

on Mar. 23 2010 at 9:21 pm
TxDragon BRONZE, Saratoga, California
1 article 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Come and Take it!" -citizens of Gonzales, Texas, when the Mexicans tried to take away the cannon used to defend their town.

WOW!!! That was really good. It made me want to read more. You should keep up with the story, you could turn it into something reallly amazing.

Tipz said...
on Mar. 13 2010 at 8:33 pm
That's really good, I rated it 5 stars. I wanted to keep reading... write a sequel! The only tip from Tipz is that I would use a little less commas, adding, on, unnecessary details,. Please don't take the tip the wrong way. I really did like your story :)

Tipz said...
on Mar. 13 2010 at 8:30 pm
hi hello yo wassup

mambo said...
on Mar. 9 2010 at 7:46 pm
ooooopppssss!!!!! i just accidentally rated it as 1 star and i cant change it sorry! i meant to hit the fifth one!

Mambo said...
on Mar. 9 2010 at 7:44 pm
oh my gosh! that was amazing! i loved it! i cant write anything for my life, so great job! it was really sad though... but it added to the effect or affect... whatever... but it was great. keep writing, you could be an author when you grow up and i would read your books... if u wanted to.

on Mar. 9 2010 at 10:10 am
MisplacedTexan14, Saratoga, California
0 articles 0 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them."- a Bumper Sticker
"If Obama was the answer, it was a stupid question." - Another Bumper sticker

Rebecca, this is awesome. I'd love to hear more, and maybe learn more about what happened and who she lost. You're a really good writer. Love Hallie

Dancequeen95 said...
on Mar. 9 2010 at 7:51 am
Amazing! I lovedd it! (:

on Mar. 8 2010 at 9:37 pm
Waterlogged BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
1 article 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Winston, you are drunk." To which Churchill responded, "and you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I'll be sober,"-Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

It's my first post on Teen Ink, so please leave honest comments! Thank you!


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