How to retrieve the strength move on, to keep going, seemed impossible. When one’s soul is torn from you, how can one manage to even attempt at life? Was that ridiculous idea even possible? When an idea so unimaginable that it’s almost impossible for the mind to even bear to process, is planted in one’s mind, do you let yourself try? Is it even physically as well as mentally possible to try? But why should one be thinking such illogicalness? Why was this even allowed? Was this some sick joke? Was life, well my life anyways, just some random game of entertainment for whatever force had claim on this world? What could be going through such a powerful force, such a worthy force, that it has the power to control this very world we walk on, and to decide to end a life? My life, her life. Sigh. Sure, we aren’t very important. Sure, we are just mere mortals roaming the earth. But why create us, just to watch us wither away in torment. ARE WE JUST SOME PAWNS?!
And if we are loved? If we have some kind of value to our creator?
Then what is going on? Why do people die every day? Why are there wars? Why is there so much wrong? If you have all the power in the world, why allow such tragedies to take place? Endless questions came pouring into my head, all unanswered.
But what if there were reasons for such tragedies? What if maybe they were meant to be? Was it possible that no matter how meant for each other two may seem, they were never really meant to be? Pain struck my chest at such an unimaginable, horrid, heart tearing thought. NO! We were meant to be, we still are. But if we truly are soul mates, why is she dead? Aren’t soul mates supposed to stay together forever? I thought nothing could keep lovers apart. So why are we separated? And besides, even if there was some absurd reason for the monster that murdered my loved one, what does it matter anyways? What difference is knowing that reason going to make? She’s gone, dead, sucked off the face of the earth. Missing.
I was not going to see her ever again. What I would do to just hear her beautiful voice once more. To hear her laugh again. I was so desperate I would probably be able to relieve myself with just the sound of her sneeze.
These revelations can be extremely tiring because for once I passed out cold into a deep sleep.