I didn’t want to feel like this. I didn’t want this sudden sense that something was wrong all the time. Like no matter what I did, or what I said he would never go back to how it was. How he used to never let me go, kiss me all the time, and whisper to me about how I was the only one. Each day gets harder and more difficult to think everything’s okay. I know she likes him, and I know he does things to lead her on. When she wants him to sit with her he does, but he wont even sit with me, his girlfriend. The one he said he wants to spend time with. The one who he doesn’t have that much time with so he should take advantage of the few moments he does. I’m tired of feeling helpless. My family and friends don’t understand. They tell me I can do better and that he doesn’t treat me right. They don’t know him like I do though. They don’t know how amazing our first kiss was, or how he tells me everything I want to hear, or how I’ll die. A little piece of me will die when its over. I’ll try to be strong and act like I’m okay, but when we breakup, whether I do it or not I wont be okay for a long time. I hate that he’s popular, that so many girls have told me they like him. That when it’s over he’ll find someone the next day, and I’d be more depressed. I want to tell him how much he means to me but I cant. Something always gets in the way, maybe it’s the other girls. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m scared of what he’ll say. Or maybe it’s just because I’m waiting for the right moment. I’ve shed too many tears over this boy and he tells me he loves me, but he doesn’t act like it. He flirts with other girls and makes excuses. He’s getting more distracted and distant as the days go on. He spends less and less time with me. And he promised he wouldn’t hurt me, but he is. I’ve got a hole in my heart and its getting bigger. The hole is growing, growing so big that soon I wont be able to cover it up with a smile. I wont be able to hide it anymore. If only he knew that the early days were the best, and the recent ones have dragged me to heartache. Everyday I know I should get over him. I should break up with him and find someone better, but I know I cant, because I like being more than anything, his…