the cold

October 12, 2009
The cold water chills my entire body as if i were dead. not being able to breathe or move, just going down even more into the deep dark cold depths of this watery coffin. it seems like forever that I’m just floating, my eyes set on something i was unsure of. i had no idea what it was and i just wanted to know what that was before i was lost forever. my life my word was lost and i didn’t know what to do about it. it was like i was swirling in circles and i was dizzy and i just wanted it to end. then a warm strong object surounds me and i feel safe and i am out of the deep dark death. i look up and its him holding me and he wont let go this time. he needs me and i need him to survive.

then i wake up and I’m in the bitter taste of the cold depths once again. I'm so lost with everything in life. it feels as if I'm the only one in the world and i just want to hide. but then i realize that life is a game of hide and go seek and i have the best place to hide and nobody can find me, but then again nobody is trying to find me. nobody is looking for me and begging me to come out of my hide out. i like my little place in the corner all by my self being able to just think everything over.

the water all around me helps me think about him. the soggy atmosphere cools me down and so I'm not as outraged. the sound of rain pouring down on me and the streets tunes out everything else. its like music getting to calm me down but with no lyrics so it makes it so much better! so with the sky, i cry and cry and cry.

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