A deep Secret

September 23, 2009

I brushed a strand of hair from my face and looked at my watch ,it was 5:20 and soccer practice started at 5:30.
I looked at the parking lot and saw cars coming in.
I turned and ran to my dad. "Kids are coming now Dad".
My dad nodded his head then said to me, "Go ahead and take out the soccer balls".
I ran to do what he said when I saw a hot red truck park into the parking lot. I turned the oppisite direction and quickly grabbed the soccer balls.
"Here you go" I muttered. I guessed I looked as strained as I felt because my dad took one look at me and asked me "Leah are you alright".
I shook my head yes "I'm fine I...I was just taken by surprise by something--what would you like me to do" I added.
"All the kids are lined up so just toss the the ball and let them kick it into the goal".
I nodded and ran back to the field. I smiled at all the six and seven year olds.
"Hey everybody ya'll ready to kick some soccer balls?" I asked.
The little kids shook there heads yes and lined up, I looked around. "Does anybody know where Andy is?"
The kids shook there heads no when I saw him coming.
I waved my hand "Hey Andy" I called. Six year old Andy Wright came running up to me.
"Hey Leah" he said shyly. I bent down and he gave me a high five "Are you ready for soccer Andy". He shook his head yes.
"Well then" I said in a british accent "You best get yor' little bahootie in the back of the line".
He giggled and ran to the back of the line. I laughed silently and stood up.
I stiffened immediately as I saw a couple sit on the grass right by the field.
I turned my back on them and started tossing the ball to the kids.
Now you might be wondering why I was acting rude, why I was at soccer practice, and most of all who I was.

My name is Leah Black and I am seventeen years old, I am 5'4 and skinny. My hair is deep black and my eyes are ( as some people say) lightning blue, whatever that is.
My dad is a soccer coach for the six and seven year olds. I had been playing soccer for five years and decided to have a break and be an assistance coach.
The couple I had just ignored was some people I knew. There names were Jacob Wright and Madaline Mitchell.
To make a long story short I knew Jacob from soccer and I have had a big crush on him since my first year of soccer.
He wasn't a popular kid but everybody loved him. He was a 6 foot soccer player.
With short, and little spiky, black hair and warm brown eyes.
He had a smile for everybody and just being around him made you warm up... like your on personnal sun.
Anyway the witch--I mean girl with him is what everybody would say was my rival.
Madaline Mitchell, for some reason has hated me ever since I had moved to North Carolina. I never figured out why but the school rumor was that she was jealous of me, don't know why but thats what I heard.
Anyway I had ten years of practice to hide my feelings from people so I didn't suspect anybody to know my true feelings for Jacob.
At any other time I probably would have gone over to say hi to them (Just to be around Jacob).
But unfortunently I was still mad at him for some trick he played on me.
I would have kept on with these thoughts but at that moment something hit me on the head and I blacked out
( To be continued)

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This article has 42 comments. Post your own now!

DiamondsIntheGrass This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 23, 2010 at 3:15 pm
think its a little too...tell-y and not really show-y.  ya know?
Michelle.B said...
May 18, 2010 at 3:23 pm

I really liked it but try for next time to be imaginative and go with the flow 

don't try to act the part of your right overall great job

DarkPoet replied...
Jul. 1, 2010 at 7:33 pm
but isn't that the whole point of letting us comment on peoples' work? To give constructive criticism?
Lyrabear replied...
Jul. 4, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Hey you guys thanks for the critisism and complements.

I have been gone for awhile so I have no idea what you guys are talking about but thanks anyway

Juless replied...
Jul. 4, 2010 at 4:15 pm
didn't know you would get offended of you did I am sorry- I love your work and 
KillerButterfly said...
Jun. 9, 2010 at 12:07 pm
first of all, just leave. Just because you're jealous, Gives you no reason to insult this fine piece of work.
lyrabear said...
Apr. 4, 2010 at 8:00 pm
hey yeah thanks for the criticism it helps a lot ^.^ i posted the second peice but that was it thatns to everyone for reading
9CatsPerLife101 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 4, 2010 at 4:55 pm
hey this is constructive criticism im about to give :] when u describe the main character leah, i feel like ur being a bit too blunt. "im 5'4, im skinny". just something to think about.
melone96 said...
Apr. 4, 2010 at 3:52 pm
yea i was thinking the same thing...he does sound like Jacob Black! but i like the epic cliff hanger that u put on the ending...is there more 2 read or have u not posted it yet? plz let me kno i wanna read more!!
Laughternchoclate said...
Feb. 19, 2010 at 6:16 pm
good! He really sounds like Jacob Blaaack... haha that's alright it's good!!!!
Tamara said...
Dec. 15, 2009 at 10:32 am
i love it its amazing
LindzL said...
Oct. 22, 2009 at 7:54 pm
It's an awesome story! Very unique and different! Can't wait for the next part!
lyrabear replied...
Oct. 23, 2009 at 12:51 pm
thanks next part soon
Lyrabear said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Hey everybody I am still trying to work on story. Thanks for all the great comments and advice you all have given me.
I promise I will try to do better
Lyrabear said...
Oct. 8, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Hey evrybody who has read my story.
I am on forums under I need Help so if anybody is inserested they can look at that and see if you can help me
Anjo! said...
Oct. 5, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Hmmm.. interesting. my advice is to read the story out loud and see where your mistakes are before you post anything cause it was hard to for me to consentrate when there was so many errors. i just wanted to fix them so badly. What i do is read books as refrences on how to use grammar in the proper way. It has helped me A LOT! but thats just my opinion. =] You can ignore it if you want. i dont care, i just thought i would tell you =]
lyrabear replied...
Oct. 6, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Thank you for the advice I will try to do better on the next part
Anjo! replied...
Oct. 7, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Awesome. Cant wait
Kc~to~thy~night~I~shall~belong said...
Oct. 4, 2009 at 1:48 pm
I realllyy like this piece, hope you post the next one soon :)
Lyrabear said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Sorry.... I don't remember putting black but on my next part I will try to do better this is the first story I have ever written.
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