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He sat on the beach next to my mom in a circle on the beach, he was my older brother's friend. His sandy blond hair and blue eyes at first glance were nothing special, but as the fire-red sun sank lower and lower he became beautiful. I looked at him, his beautiful baby blue eyes locked with mine; my heart stopped. I quickly pulled mine away and turned away. I stood and walked, my feet sinking into the cool sand, to my little sister near the water's edge. Holding her tiny hand in mine, we ran closer to the water then retreated as it chased us back up the shore. Laughing full belly laughs we continued playing and running. We both tired soon and walked back to where our family sat with my brother's friends, his eyes were glued to me. Embarrassed I sat down in the sand, what I hoped he didn't know was that I was secretly thinking about him.
Soon there were only five of us left on the beach, the circle now much smaller and tighter. He still sat quietly, only speaking occasionally, across the circle from me. My sister, brother, and my brother's other friend spoke more fluidly and lively. I shyly sat digging my feet into the sand. I was the youngest one and as usual I felt out of place with the older crowd. He was nine years older than me. As we all talked I tried to keep my eyes from him, I had a boyfriend I shouldn't be thinking about another guy: who I just met. The sky blackened and we all decided to wander back to the house.
I became jittery, and fretted over what I should wear. I told myself I shouldn't care, I couldn't, but for some reason I couldn't help myself. I choose a black and white dress that tightly fit me. The top was white until just above my waist and the bottom half was black. I pulled my sun streaked blond hair into a braided low bun, I dusted my eyes with gold shimmer, and lined then with brown liner. My finishing touch was a few swipes of mascara. I looked into the mirror telling myself to be good.
He was sitting in the chair near the door to the deck. His eyes followed me across the room. I told myself he was not looking at me, I was too young, not pretty enough, there wasn't a chance he was looking at me. Then I locked eyes with him again, and I decided I wanted him. I decided I should be free I'm young, I decided this because I thought he wasn't actually looking at me. Dinner was the same back and forth conversation that had happened on the beach. He sat across from me and over one seat. Slowly time passed, and eventually I collected the plates brushing past him as I walked into the kitchen. My heart pounded loudly in my ears as I passed him.
Eventually, we thinned to the same five from the beach earlier that day. I began to talk more, my confidence growing. Then we started speaking. I mentioned I played soccer, and quickly we began talking. He told me he loved soccer when he was in high school, and he jokingly made fun of me for playing striker. "Oh so your the lazy one," he laughed looking deep into my eyes. We continued laughing and joking. Every chance I got I walked back into the house so that I could brush past him once more. He then disappeared for a while, and then reappeared with two more boys. We all then sat down and talked and laughed. I sat next to one of the new comers and brothers other friends who occasionally touched me, I didn't even register any meaning to it. This new incomer I found very intriguing. The time passed much more quickly and as a group we decided we should walk on the beach. Bouncing down the stairs we walked out into the thick summer air. I then found myself at his side.
We talked and talked, he was no longer quiet. He told me about how he majored in journalism and I asked countless questions. He continued to surprise me at how much we were alike. He then slipped his hand into mine as though he has done it a million times. I looked at him and smiled. Abruptly he asked about my boyfriend. I felt a sudden flash of guilt. It wasn't that I didn't love my boyfriend, I do, but he was just, perfect in that moment. " I love him, but I'm young and I want to take advantage of any opportunity I get," I some what lied. I don't know why but I couldn't help it, I couldn't resist this boy. We continued to wander along our hands intertwined.
The group came to a halt. We stood in a circle but I slowly drifted off with him, I faced him. His hands cautiously went to my waist then lower. It felt so good, I hadn't had someone touch me for two months. After what seemed a long time we went back to the group, and the new comer I had talked to earlier pulled me aside. Quickly he put his mouth to mine, confused and mindlessly my lips responded. When I pulled away I walked back to the group, his eyes on me. Like a herd of animals we decided to move on, our destination: the lifeguard stand. We ended up next to each other again and he took my hand again. To me holding hands can be more meaningful than a kiss, it shows connection, but a kiss can have no meaning.
We approached the ladder of the life guard stand, he gestured me to go first. My smile expanded, bigger than ever. I climbed up carefully. I sat in the corner my hands on the smooth wood seat. He followed closely behind me, he sat down close to me and pulled my short, tan legs onto his.
"So your kissing other boys," he said in a whisper.
"Are you jealous?" I giggled back. He smiled and squeezed my hand. Soon we all began to grow tired so we jumped off the stand and began back to the house. Me and him walked away from the group near the water.
"I want to go swimming, I wish I wasn't wearing this dress," I said looking at the dark water.
"You should, it'd be hot," I was caught off guard by this comment and whipped my head around.
"So you think I'm hot?" I replied trying not to sound too excited
"Don't let it go to your head, but your very pretty."
"Thank you," I smiled shyly. We then continued in silence for a little. I broke the silence with, "You were watching me on the beach today weren't you?" He laughed. " I knew it!" I quickly threw back at him. I turned around so I was walking backwards in front of him.
"Stop walking like that you look too pretty. I really can't. I have a girlfriend, and your brother would kill me." I stopped to look at him, a little crushed. My bubble was definitely bursted.
"Oh come on, he won't know." That was all I could say, I truly had no clue what I was doing or saying, all I knew is that I wanted to feel his lips on mine. I knew I shouldn't, that I couldn't, but I wanted to. We then were no longer on the beach, and then we were in front of my house. We both walked into the garage and back to the shower, he was still holding my hand. We washed our feet then I looked at him and grabbed him, it was overwhelming how badly I wanted him to kiss me.
"I told you I can't, trust me it's not like I don't want to, but I just can't. Maybe one day." This comment stung a little, it made me feel like a child. Rejected I kissed his neck softly, moaning he pulled away. "One day." Completely deflated I followed him outside. I said goodbye to the other two boys hugging them. Then my brother's friends announced that they should go. First I hugged the brown haired one we exchanged good meet yous and thank yous. Then I was faced with him one last time. He hugged me, the warmth of his tall body wrapped around me. Then we pulled away and I smiled. He was perfect, my perfect guy. I stood there and watched him walk away from me.
I went up to the deck to eat some food. I sat outside, hoping, praying that he would come back. That he would run back down the beach just so he could kiss me. I'm foolish. I waited until I couldn't stay awake anymore; he never came. The next morning I realized that I would probably never see him again, and this made my much sadder than I thought it would. I don't think I will ever forget the night I met him, it was perfect. He was perfect. So I'll go back to my boyfriend, trying to forget him, but I will never stop praying for that one day that maybe we can be together. One day.