The door shut behind her and the room shook with intense. Walking towards the radio she increased the volume as far as it could go. She jumped on the bed and covered her face with the squashy, sapphire pillow. How could he act like this? He had never changed. Every day he mentioned to her that things would be different. Why did she fall for it again? She should have known that he was going to lie to her and that his promises would never last. She did not care if he had made a fool of her in front of her friends. Trying to get through to him was impossible. Turning back around on her side she saw the petite black eyes staring down at her. She jumped off the bed and started walking towards the furry creature. While picking it up memories started flooding in her mind when she had first received the cuddly creature. It was two years ago. He seemed so perfect and was different than the other boys she had met. God how she wished that she had never met him. If she did not go to that amusement park with her friend, she would have never known who he was. She though about how different things were back then. He never treated her badly. Did she do something wrong? Did she tempt him? Taking the bear into her hands she brought it to her bed. She laid down and hugged it closely, not wanting to ever let it go. The smooth material kept on brushing against her cheek and she felt like it was alive and trying to compose her down. She wished that things were back to what they used to be. All she wanted was to be joyful, even if it was just for a little second. A earsplitting noise penetrated her ears. She stood up and looked over at the object making the sound. Without hesitation she picked it up and waited for a response. The other line was quiet and no words were spoken. Knowing that it was him no words escaped her mouth. He always called making a fool of her. This time he said nothing and she stood waiting for an apology. She knew that if he had said a word everything would change. She would forget about the grief and want him back all over again. It seemed like an hour had passed and she still did not hear a sound. Tears started rolling down her eyes and she punched a button and threw the phone across the room. She deserved more than that. She deserved someone who understood her and realized his own mistakes. Looking out at the big old tree she saw two little birds chasing each other. One was sitting on the chunky branch, and the other was circling it around. At times they kept on switching positions and she could not figure out which one was the leader. It didn’t matter though. They both loved each other and that was the only thing that mattered. She couldn’t bear the sight of the little birds showing their affection so she turned around and faced the other way. For the first time she noticed the miniature room that she had lived in for most of her life. The closet was next to the door and all the clothes were tenderly put on the hangers. Next to that she noticed her little TV and on top of it pictures that she took last year when she went to Italy. A thought came to her mind and she remembered that they had never taken any pictures. She had tried to a few months ago but he had denied her. How could a person deny something like that? Understanding him was impossible. Maybe he knew that they would not last. He must have known that she was not the one. Furious with her thought she took the teddy bear and threw it across the spotless room. Her eyes started to congest with tears once again. She looked at her dusty desk and saw a little note sitting there. Slowly she got off the bed and walked towards it. It sat there so softly and with uncertainty she picked it up. She sat down on her big chair and read through it slowly. Tears gathered in her eyes. She turned it over and with a fast motion crunched it up and threw it on the floor. She went towards the window and opened it. The birds’ songs filled every little corner of the room. For a second she could not move. The sound was so stunning and she could not move from the spot that she was standing at. The sun was setting and many different colors filled the sky. She had never seen something so striking. The colors of the sky always took her by surprise. She didn’t understand how a sky could be purple and pink. The view appeared as it was taken out of a book. A leaf caught her concentration as it was falling down from the big tree and she tried to follow it. She wished that she was that leaf. Not having a worry and to be able to fly away anywhere the wind would take her. The breeze hit her face and she wheezed for air. She got shivers through her body and coldness filled her. She turned around and picked up the crunched piece of paper. Walking back towards the window she let it go slowly. It flowed through the air and the wind took it inside his arms. The note started drifting and soon disappeared and only became a memory.. Looking back towards the big tree one last time she shut the window. Walking towards her bed she sat down slowly and raised her head up high. She repeated to herself that he was not a part of her life anymore. Throwing away his love for her was the last step that she needed to do. Needing him was not an option. Whatever she had to do now, she had to do by herself. She saw the little bear laying on the grown, and she went towards it picking it up. Its bulky brown eyes looked towards her and she felt like someone understood where she was coming from. She went to the place that she had taken it from and put it back in the same spot. The sun was gone and darkness filled the sky. The stars were shining brightly and they seemed to illuminate the sky. She closed her eyes tenderly and put her hands together. Making a wish every night gave her hope through the hard times. Opening her eyes she smiled lightly and headed for the door. This time her wish did not include him.
May 5, 2009