Upside Down, Rightside Up

October 26, 2017
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I love stars. They were the only thing that were ever beautiful to me. They reminded me of my dad. I miss him.  He died from cancer, passing  away when I was 10. Now I am 16, a junior in highschool. It’s just my mom and I just living in a small place together. My older brother Jacob too, well, he was living with us until he ran away and disappeared on us after a year of my dad passing away. I miss Jacob too, a lot, but mom and I don’t talk about Jacob nor dad at all. Mom pretends they both never existed and smiles by day, but by night I could hear her crying herself to sleep right next to me. Even with a very small apartment we live in, It feels big without our boys in the family.

My mom is sick. She been sick for a while now. She doesn’t know that I know about her sickness. Everyday I wake up extra early and make mom food before leaving to school. We barely even have enough money to buy food to fill both our stomachs up. There would be days where I wouldn’t eat at all and just save my food for my momma the next day. My mom’s health is more important than mine anyways. She’s the only family that I have, the only person I can depend on all times, the only person I look up to, can’t stand the chance to lose her. I’d really go crazy if I did. I love her.

School. School was a different story. I hate school because I didn’t have friends at all. Well, except for one, my boy bestfriend Jason. We’ve been best friends since I can even remember. I really don’t know how since we are two very different people. Jason is popular, everyone loves him. He’s rich and very handsome too. Then there’s me, the invisible one, the one who gets made fun of, the one who barely got anything in her own hands. Jason is like my very own brother too. He’s very overprotective of me, stands up for me, and provides me the things I need. If only money grew on trees, I would have no problem buying my own stuff at all.

Coming home from school and work , before walking into my apartment, something felt different. I didn’t know what I felt but I just had this really weird vibe. As I walk in, the small apartment was empty. I shouted out for my mom, but no answer. I call out for her again , but still no answer. I sit down in the kitchen and thought to myself, “I can’t be alone now.”
As I sit in the small space, I look around and notice there was a note on the fridge.
It said ,
“Kaeko,  please come to 3615 Floral St.
It’s a mansion, I’ll be waiting for you outside, I’ll explain to you everything in person,
I love you.

Love, Mom”

1 Hour Later…
It was a very long walk, but I got to my destination. It was dark but I looked around. The house was really big, I was really confused on why my mom was here and told me to come here. I didn’t see my mom anywhere outside, so I decided to just walk in. Surprisingly the door was unlocked but wow, it was beautiful, it was big, it was a house I dreamed of ever living in. I walked around to look for mom. To be honest I didn’t know where I was going. I was a bit creeped out since I saw no one. Until, BOOM, I saw a fine young looking boy about my age walk out the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist.
We both looked at each other and screamed.
“Who, who are you and what the heck are you doing here?” he asked.
“Uh I’m Kaeko, and to be honest I don’t even know what I’m doing here, my mom wrote me a note leading me to here,” I stuttered to say since he was half naked, couldn’t really focus on his face.
“Oh wait, so you’re the new maid’s daughter? Hmm you’re pretty cute,” he responds.
“Wait what? Mai-” I get interrupted.
“Kaeko!” I look behind me and it was my mom, I ran up to her and hugged her.
“Now can you explain why our apartment is empty and why we are here in this very nice place mom? I asked.
Mom grabs my hand and leads me to a room. She opens it and leads me in. The room was small, really small, looks more like a closet. All our clothes were hanging side by side and there was a small cooker in there too. I look at my mom with confusion on my face.
“ This is where we’re going to be living now, I quit my other job and decided to become a maid, it’s better paying than the other job, you’ll also be transferring into a different school tomorrow , a private school, also honey you don’t have to work anymore to support the both of us.”
I had no words, I didn’t like this idea , being stuck in a small room in a big mansion is way worst than where we lived and a private school filled with rich kids sounded like a bad idea too. I walked out and decided to just sit in front of the house and look up at the stars.

“Rise and Shine sleepy head!”
I hear a voice in my head, but then I heard music, then I felt a hit on my head, I was bit confused.
I realized I was asleep on something really soft and comfy. I opened my eyes and got up and realized I was sleeping on a bed . The guy I bumped into yesterday was there still half naked trying to put on his school uniform. I didn’t know what to do so I screamed.
“Woah, what happened?! You okay?” The guy asked me looking puzzled.
“Why am I here? What did you to do me!” I exclaimed
“Well then, you do know that you fell asleep ron the driveway,  right? I wasn’t going to let you sleep out there in the cold nor that very crowded small room my mom gave ya’ll, so now go get washed up and dressed so we can go to school together.”
Before I couldn’t even thanked him, he pushes me out his room and lead me to the washroom.
I didn’t really have anything else to wear so I just wore what I wore last night and headed out. A fancy car pulled up and the guy whose bed I was sleeping in pulled me into the car. He looked up and down at me and then smiled.
“My name is Caleb by the way, since I never really got to introduce myself.”
I looked at him and smiled. It was a quiet drive to my new school.  As we got there, I looked out the window and there were a lot of kids with nice uniforms. I knew every kid in this school were in high classes. I didn’t want to get down the car and embarrass myself with what I was wearing, but I had to get down anyways. Caleb decided that he would take me to the office to get my schedule, so I walked a bit of a far distance behind him with my head down, not wanting to look at anyone passing right by me.

The first day of my new school was terrible. Instead of getting in the car with Caleb, I decided to just walk, but I didn’t walk straight home. I ended up at my boy best friend Jacob’s place. It was surprisingly close to my new school. My flip phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing.
“Ugh, can she freaking stop calling me, how the heck do I turn off this stupid phone?!” I screamed and threw the phone towards the wall.
“Why not just pick up and tell her where you are? I mean she is your mom and she may be worried about you,” my boy best friend Jacob says.
I stayed quiet, laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about life, trying to hold back my tears, but I couldn’t. Once Jacob asked how my first day went at my new school, I bursted into tears. I’ve held my tears for the longest. The last time I remember crying was 6 years ago, when my dad passed away. I had a horrible day at school. Barely even being the new girl, already got the nickname “trash bag.” At lunch, they tripped me so my tray of food fell and they dumped cartons of milk on me. I didn’t bother going to the rest of my classes and hid in the bathroom for the rest of the school day. I didn’t want to go back there. I won’t, I can’t keep living feeling worthless just because I’m poor. I decided not to go back home or should I say Caleb’s place. I hate to lie to Jacob, but I couldn’t tell him what I was doing or where I was going or else he would have tried to stop me.
It was really cold and dark, to be honest I really didn’t know where I was going but I kept walking as far as I could.

It’s been 2 month since I’ve last seen my mom or my best friend. I was doing good. I had a  job, I was doing good in another school, and had a place, not as big as my last apartment but it was good for 1 person. Although, I have this regret, this pain in my heart, that I should have never left. I decided to go up and see both my mom and best friend Jacob. I went to see Jacob first. Before even getting to say anything , he hugged me real tight, and had a big smile on his face even tears, which was really surprising.
“Where the heck have you been? I was so worried about you, I’ve been searching for you everywhere?.....” Jacob kept asking questions and questions. Questions I couldn’t even respond to him, but it made me happy that he was happy to see me, real happy.
“ Um, Hey Jacob, can you take me to go see my Mom?’ I asked.
“Your mom? Oh um have- uh uh alright I’ll take you,” Jacob stutters. I gave him a weird look. I wasn’t sure why he was stuttered, he also looked a bit sad too.
Jacob drives and drives and drives, passing Caleb’s house. Now I was really confused.
“Wait Jacob, we just passed Caleb’s house!” I exclaimed, looking back.
“She isn’t there,” Jacob replies.
“Then where is she?” I asked
‘You’ll see,” He sighs.
The drive was a bit long, but we finally reached our destination. We were at a cemetery.
“W-why are we here?” I asked holding back my tears. I knew what was coming. I didn’t want to believe it, I really didn’t. Jacob takes my hand and leads me a stone who I expected. My mom. My mom’s stone. Couldn’t hold my tears any longer so I burst out crying. I fell to my knees and sobbed over her grave, repeatedly saying “I'm sorry Mom, I’m sorry.” Jacob cried right next to me also. My mom was dead. The person I looked up too, the only who who raised me, was dead because of me. Because of me I wasn’t able to take care of her, all because I left her alone to deal with her sickness. This was all my fault.

It’s been 3 years now. 3 years since my mom passed away. I miss her, I really do but I kept blaming myself for her death. I realized if I kept blaming myself, I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere in life. I visit her grave almost every week to tell her how I love her and miss her.
I am now a sophomore in College. I am finally happy. I have a very nice home, a well paying job, and the love of my life, Jacob. Yes, Jacob the one who was my best friend, who now is my boyfriend that makes me very happy. I’m glad I didn’t give up on myself and kept on going in life. I may have had negatives thoughts mostly throughout my whole life, but my heart kept telling me to go on. Now, look at me, I’m in a good place.






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