As I see my best friend lying there in that casket I never realized how short life could be, but as I sit there and listen to the preacher stand before us and speak to us about how wonderful she was and how many good things she has done in her short life. I can't help but let my mind wander off into our old memories together, and as I sit there thinking about all that we have been through I feel a tear roll down my face and as I wipe it off gently I look around and see everyone with their attention on the preacher just listening to him speak about the young girl in the casket. Then I ask myself what was she thinking when she did this? and as I asked myself that question I think back to our last conversation I remember her telling me how hard her life was at the time but i never realized how upset she was i never even thought of the possibility that she would kill herself.As everyone is paying their last respects and then leaving the funeral home, I sit there on then bench in the second row just me and the girl I once called my best friend. This made me think of what life might throw at me next. Then I finally stand up and walk toward the casket for the last time. I take a look down at the face of what I thought would be a life long friendship and many tears start rolling down my face and as they hit the floor you can hear them hit the floor because of the dead silence "DROP, DROP, DROP" and as I try to calm down and wipe away the tears that still remain on my face i take a folded note out of my pocket that said "my life will never be the same with out you" along with a beautiful pink rose and gently put them in her hand.Then I turn around and as i reach the end of the asile i turn around in the door way and say my final goodbye and then i turn around and walk out.As i am walking home i try and let all my emotions out and the tears just start rolling down my face I reach in my jacket pocket and pull out a folded tissue and wipe my eyes then i stuff the used tissue back in the pocket. when i get to my house i take out an old scrapbook and look through all the photogaphs of me and my old best friend and as i read the end of the book i gently close it and put it in a box titled memories, because that is all that friendship is now, a momory, and as I think back one last time to our last conversation about how hard her life was i couldnt help but think about how i could have stopped he from doing this, if only i would have realized that she was not,at all, joking in any way possible. So now i have to face life without her and also face reality. As i live now and remember seeing my best friend lay there in that casket surounded by all of the flowers and photographs i cant help but wonder what life would be like now if she hadnt smiled like nothing was wrong, talked like everything was perfect, acted like everything was a dream and if she had not pretended it wasnt hurting her.I know that things would be different if she hadnt chosen her life over depression.
Life Over Depression
March 10, 2009