Forgiveness

February 8, 2017

Two years have passed and it still is difficult. Living in the same world where the monster of a man killed my son, Jacob, in a drunk driving accident does not bring comfort to me in any form. My pain will not ease any until I get the revenge I am looking for.

 

Two years ago my son Jacob went to watch a football game out of town with his friends. Jacob had never been the person not to call and let me know where he was staying. As I sat up waiting for either a call or him to walk through the door I slowly dozed off. Around three that morning I got a telephone call any mother would dread. As I pulled up to the scene a feeling I had never had came over me when I saw the hearse. I ran up to the scene but was quickly escorted away by policemen. I made eye contact with one person that night, and that was the man who caused all of this. I looked in his eyes and seen nothing but evil. I knew I would never be satisfied until he got what he deserved.

 

It was an ordinary Monday morning. I was on the subway headed to the office where would perform my same routine I did every day, help people cope with their feelings though they could not help me. I usually sit in the same seat on the bus everyday because Jacob and I sat there the last time we rode the subway together. For some reason today that seat was taken, so I found a lonely seat at the back of the bus. In the seat next to me laid a journal with no owner around. I have never been one to take things that do not belong to me but for some reason I felt like it was placed there for me to find, so I took it. When I opened the journal and started reading the lump in my throat grew bigger with every sentence.


“I used to be an ordinary guy. I would wake up to a loving wife and two of the most beautiful babies. They made it   hard to leave for work, but so easy to come home. A couple years ago that changed. A couple years ago I made a mistake that affected not only me but everyone around me. A couple years ago my life ended the night the seventeen year old innocent died, and when I seen the look of hurt on his mother's face when she got to the scene.

 

I am writing this today because today is the day I am going to end my misery. I figured time would heal all pain, but it only seems to be making it worse. Every night I lay down and dream of the life I used to have, then wake up to reality. For years I have tried living with this pain, but today it ends. Today I will be ending my life on the abandoned Cross Lake Bridge at the west side of town. I hope who ever finds this journal can find forgiveness like I never could. It is never  too late to make things right.. . “

 

I knew just what I had to do. I quickly wiped away my tears and ran up to the front of the subway and impatiently waited for it to stop. I knew I had to save this stranger like I could not save my son. As soon as the subway made a complete halt I jumped off the bus and ran to the nearest map. My legs trembled and tears rolled down my face as I realized I was on the opposite side of town. I dropped everything and took off running with the journal. I was determined to make it to the bridge before he jumped. After what seemed like forever I finally made it to the west side of town. I angrily shouted for someone to carry me to Cross Lake Bridge, because i had no clue as to where I was going. Many faces looked at me and kept walking. I knew if I kept waiting I would not have time, so i continued to run. After what seemed like miles I came upon a sign that said Cross Lake Bridge and there in front of me he stood. What seemed like a six foot bullet proof man stood with his back to me on the top of the bridge, shaking in fear and regret. I calmly walked up to him and as he turned around and our eyes met I knew exactly who stood before me. The pain I seen in his eyes was the same pain he seen in mine two years ago. That broken man on the bridge was the same man who took my son away from me. I suddenly felt like I was downing and started gasping for air, trying to hold my tears back. As I stood toe to toe with the demon I have been wanting to get revenge on I could not help but look into his eyes and understand the same pain he is feeling. At that moment I realized it was not too late for forgiveness. Though at the time it seemed impossible, I knew what I had to do. Trying to find the strength and right words to say, I stood in silence. His knees buckled and he fell to my feet begging for forgiveness. I stood in shock watching the same careless man who killed Jacob break into pieces right before me. I soon fell to my knees, wrapped him in my arms and forgave the man I wanted nothing more than revenge on. On what I thought was an ordinary Monday morning, I found forgiveness on Cross Lake Bridge. 






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