Floating

February 7, 2009
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It had all happened too fast. We couldn't have turned back the clock. Now what has happened has been done. The dream has turned back into reality like a blow to the stomach knocking us back to the awful truth of the matter; that we all will someday die.


Floating. My soul is watching this scene slowly falling away from life. My soul stuck between the pain of this world and the warmth of another, a new world, one that no one knows with its secrets kept away from human kind.

Underneath me, they stare at a glossily black coffin. I see salty tears forming in the edges of eyes. Their bodies dressed in clean black faintly whispering about a 'tragic loss'.

I am watching them watch me, the empty shell that lies inside that black box.


They are all beside themselves gathered together under a blanket of thick green grass no longer united by love and happiness. Death has torn them apart. I cannot console them or dry their tears. Now I only float farther and farther toward the bright sun, a bright white blinding light that beckons me.

My mothers arms, wrapped around her body in half-hearted embrace, are unsure of what to do in a time of crisis. Cool wet paths align her reddened cheeks. The winds seek to comfort her dreary soul by softly brushing her ghostly skin ever so lightly. I see eyes set apart from the rest. My mother's eyes that no longer sparkle or glow. She deals with the unbearable thoughts that no mother should ever feel while staring at creamy white roses that rest upon a black coffin. She has lost all comfort and is seeking for her heart to become whole again. Her heart has fallen away deep down inside her body broken and bloodily. Drops of scarlet blood leak onto other unsuspecting organs and this disease of heartache is spreading throughout her body. The pain is too much too bear for misery has tightly latched onto her life. The wind slowly picked up tossing her light brown hair marked with unwanted snow-white waves like a couple twirling and twisting to the beat of a magnetic melody.

All I remember of my awful fate is the hospital lights. They were too blinding, too shiny, and white like the light that is calling out to me now. The doctors cut my pale flesh. Bright red blood spilt and fell upon my angels white hands. They tried so hard to save my life with their array of metal tools and knowledge that filled their minds as vast as the sky. They wanted my heart to beat, a simple thump, for my lungs to suck in another deep breath. Although it was never to be, my life restored with only a few scars and a loss of blood.

They had rushed me in the hospital on wheels while voices were shouting on high. My life was slipping. The pain that had threaded my body now engulfed it in a bright flame. Everything seemed hazy and grey. The disgusting and bitter smell of crimson blood stuck to my matted hair. Cuts and broken bones decorated my body.

I had never imagined this the end of my life. It was such a quiet night with the stars winking at us above in the vast dark sky, the moonlight smiling watching our joy, and our laughs drifting into the cool midnight air. His smile was so bright. My eyes glistened with happiness. His hands were on the wheel and my head fell against his shoulder. Our souls intertwined like two different hands latched together, fingers lacing into the opening between our bones, and our hearts beat steadily so sure they were to beat together forever in a tune of bliss.

The light must have been red. I can't remember. In a moment, I was flung from my bliss. It all happened in an instant and was too hard to recall. I heard his voice screaming my name in fear. He kept telling me to hold on that everything would be all right. I half blocked out the screams brought by his voice. My head pounded and body ached.
Next thing I saw was red and white lights shining, blinking in the distance. The pain soared through me igniting every nerve.
***


Before I drifted away, I glanced at his face wrapped up in anguish. His sable locks brushed the contours of his face. His hands were shoved into his pockets of clean black. I imagined his strong hands rough with warmth that wrapped around my hands so many times. I looked once more into his unusual blue eyes rimmed with a cloud of hazy grey and filled with the blue that sits in the heart of a flickering flame. I saw that they no longer flickered with ecstasy. I missed his smile so bright. He stood before my empty body with his heart torn by pain. He had blamed himself. He would have sacrificed his life for one more minute, one last good-bye. His heart was butchered and he was there without me wondering how he would survive, wondering how he could dream without fear. My face seared in his mind was not enough. Memories would eventually fade then disappear. His heart was barely beating. A storm had unleashed a wave of unforgettable sadness. He had wanted so much for this nightmare to end.





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