Waking From a Dream, but Entering a Continious Nightmare

February 26, 2009
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'Are you serious?!'

Light. Movement. Train. Ugh.

My eyes are open again.

I move away from the window on my right and sluggishly look over at Pippin. Except, he's not next to me anymore. In his aisle seat is Carmen. She's leaning over a drawing, wincing at it a little. Her nose wrinkles in concentration.

'Carmen?' I slur.

She looks up, flushes, and replies, 'Hello, sleepy!'

I blink as my greeting and yawn. 'Wha... uh, how long has it been?'

She smiles and looks at her phone. 'Almost two hours.'

'Are we almost there?'

She looks confused for a moment. Then, she turns and taps Pippin's shoulder with her pencil. The pencil's led snaps and she gasps, cooing the pencil in her hands. I laugh.

'How much long-?' I stop mid-question.

What the hell?

Angelica is totally leaning on my cousin, with her flashy little skirt exposing a bit too much thigh. Her legs are crossed, but she doesn't look very ladylike. My eyes flash her hand on Pippin's.

I clear my throat suggestively.

Angelica starts to move away, but Pippin just grins and winks at me. Angelica stops moving. Great.

'Why have you seized to say something that I take is only too important, dearest cousin?' Pippin asks.

'How much longer?' I snap, ignoring his metaphorical tone.

He raises his eyebrows innocently and looks at his watch. 'Just a half an hour.'

I nod slowly, eyeing his contact with Angelica. Hmm...

I hear Carmen giggle, but I don't look away. They aren't even a seat apart like Carmen and I are! Angelica's in the middle seat, and Pippin in the aisle. They're already back in a conversation, which I don't even pay attention to. Angelica's feet are toying together at the same time she throws her head back and laughs. Pippin laughs too and leans closer to her. Their stupid heads are only like three inches apart. Ew! Angelica then takes the pen that was in her left hand and taps Pippin's nose. With that, she giggles and scoots away from him, shaking her finger the whole journey.

'...can't just say that, silly!' she exclaims.

'Why not?' Pippin challenges.

'Becuzuh! I am SO still a teenager!'

'Just by one little year.'

Angelica bites the cap of her pen, smiling mischievously.

I feel a little nauseous and it's not from the train ride.

'So when did that happen?' I whisper to Carmen.

She rolls her eyes. 'Well,' she replies quietly, 'after I woke up, Angie asked if I could move over in my spot since Pippin was in the bathroom. I had to let her be all flirty-squirty, but jeez she could really take it down a notch, huh?'

'Pippin just went over there?'

'Yeah. He was kinda' into it.'

'Dummy,' I grumble. 'He's nineteen. Angie's seventeen, right?'

'Yeah, like a week ago.'

'Ew-uh.' I wrinkle my nose and lean back against my seat.

Pippin is cute, but just in a brotherly kind of way. I can see how Angelica likes him, but she needs to be careful. Of course, who am I to talk? I was just kissed by a stranger a couple hours ago. And he put his arm around my waist...

'So, Charlotte!' Angelica calls me loudly.

I look at her with an unfriendly expression. 'What?'

'We never really talked about that B-O-Y. He totally planted one on you! It was really cute.'

I blush and stare at my lap.

'What you've never kissed a boy before?' she continues, much to my embarrassment.

Pippin, obviously, already knows this. Carmen doesn't, but I'm sure she could've guessed it. How annoying! Even though I don't really care, I'd still rather her not shout it out.

Carmen sees where this is going before I do. 'Hey, we should get our bags ready, huh?'

I look out of the window. Wow, the Mediterranean again. How stunning. Again.

I'm dizzy for a few moments. When I recover, I examine the scenery more closely. The trees are zipping by, but the sea stays in place. Up ahead, I see a little harbor accompanied by a small peninsula. Above the harbor sit many, many antique buildings all squished together. It all disappears as we go behind a hill.

I look away, yawning again.

How complex the world is. Each and every country is filled with cities. Each city is filled with millions of people. Each person is an elaborate system working off of sugar and fat. Within each person's cells is another system. Within each cell system is another set of about one hundred systems. All the way down to the atom. The atom is the base to everything.

Like a bird sitting on a leaf on the surface of a pond, I keep touching the surface of something extraordinary and then hopping away from it. Sometimes I'll fall into a sea of adventure, or interest, but then I come up again to breathe. Is something wrong with me? Why do I always come back up?

Here I am in Italy, (possibly Monaco by now), thousands of miles away from my normal life, and I'm still not satisfied. How much more exciting can things get? (The only thing I can think of is getting kidnapped or falling in love! Both of which will probably never happen within the next decade or so.)

It seems like the purpose of life is survival for all species. But once in a while, you'll hear about the whale that takes care of a dolphin calf who is dying. How can that be explained? Why would a whale, a wild animal, go out of its way to nurture another species altogether? How does that make any sense?

I look back at Pippin and Angelica. Is there really anything wrong with their flirting?

Pippin's only two and a half years older than her. She'll be an adult in another year. Besides, Pippin isn't a bad guy. His intentions are creepy or weird. (At least, not that I know of.) Angelica's just looking for a little silly fun.

So why am I so against that?

Maybe I'm jealous that Angelica can so easily be loved or even just liked by a boy? Because me, my lonesome self, can never seem to find the right boy, or even a date to the dance? And if I ever do get any attention, I blow it off with disgust? Is that the reason?

Or maybe it has nothing to do with my personal interests. Perhaps I'm upset that Pippin would act so immature towards a younger girl. Maybe I'm irritated that Angelica would provide such a form of temptation for my cousin. So much so that I'm worried about it.

Maybe it's a combination of both.

'You ready, Char?' Pippin asks, pulling me from my thoughts of eager despair.

'I've always been ready,' I grumble. I know that he is talking about the train, but I'm not. "Maybe something will happen in Monaco," I continue in a flat tone.

Maybe something will.

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