What the hell am I doing here?

January 20, 2009
By Caleb Taylor, Macon, IL

Once upon a time there was a young boy who felt that he didn’t belong to anyone or anything. The young boy would always question himself on why he was put here. Yet the young boy never saw that answer to that question. But the answer will someday soon come to him…

One day the boy decided to go for a nice walk around the old park. After a few minutes of walking he spotted a bench a few feet away and decided to sit down and rest his tired legs. As he sat down the young boy put his hands on his forehead and closed his eyes and thought many thought’s. While pondering away a young girl about the same age as the young boy, she was feeling very lonely in her pity little soul. So she decided to get the courage to talk to the young boy. As the young girl walked cautiously towards the boy, as she walked up to him she stopped in front of his feet waited…the young boy then raised his head and sat up slowly and opened his eyes and looked up and then stared at the girl. Then the girl said in a quiet voice “hello…” and as she waited for a reply finally the young boy said “hello…” And then they began to chat of many things..

After many months of the young boy and girl being friends they had a great bond for each other. They became best friends and were always there for one another when they needed each other. They would try to see each other as much as possible. Every Friday they would go to each others house and watch T.V, Listen to music, talk to each other, or just go for a nice stroll and talk like away like there is no tomorrow.

Then the boy found out his parents was going to be gone for the weekend. So they decided to have the girl stay at the boys’ house and so they could spend the whole weekend with each other. They had it all plan they would come over get nice and clean for a movie then after the move they would go out to eat, head home and go on with there fun night at home. Well after school the next day the boy talked to the young girl and she decided they would meet at the boy’s house around 5:00. Well they were very both excited so the boy ran home got a quick slight meal and headed up stairs to take a nice warm shower. After that he hoped out of the shower dried himself quickly put on some nice clothes sprayed some cologne on him and went downstairs and sat on the couch patiently waiting for the young girl to arrive at the boy’s house all pretty and ready for the fun night with the boy. Well its 5:30 the girl is very late which seems very odd to the boy because they were both excited for the night to come. Then its 6:00 the boy is panicking so he picks up the phone, and calls the girls phone but she never answers..... A few minutes later the boy hears the phone ring he quickly grabs the phone and answers it with a quick “hello?!?!” the boy didn’t hear much but people sobbing in the background a girl speaks to the boy then the boy hesitates and shakes while talking to the girl and then hangs up the phone. He starts to sob. His best friend that was everything to him was gone…

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This article has 5 comments.

on Mar. 2 2009 at 11:41 pm
AnAuthenticAuthor2B BRONZE, Idaho Falls, Idaho
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments
Good job on writing a creative and heart-warming story! It portrays in the importance and feelings of friendship, which is something everyone can relate to. I would suggest, however, that you check your grammer and add a few more adjectives and adverbs. They can help relay your feelings to the reader in a more defined way. They can also make the feelings more dramatic. Still, good job and thank you for writing that!

holycow11 said...
on Mar. 1 2009 at 11:14 pm
I am really happy that you are wondering what you are doing here. Some people spend their whole life asking this. I felt this was such a sincere and beautiful story about young people and how important it is to have a friend. It was sad, but we all know that life can be sad. Good luck in your writing and keep on writing!

artsrock said...
on Mar. 1 2009 at 1:40 pm
I liked the story and was captivated with the emotion of the story. In the short story you wrote, I feel like you were able to accomplish a lot with your feelings and how important this friendship was to the boy and girl. The use of the words boy and girl also gave your story an innocence and vulnerability. I wish you the best-you should keep writing.

on Feb. 28 2009 at 11:09 pm
I really am confused. I feel like your beginning was strange and did not tie in with the rest of your story. Honestly I don't know how many of these love stories I will read before I stop reading them.

Oh an there were some gramatical mistakes. Other than that, it paints a great picture. Just use different colors or a different canvas next time.

HEY624 said...
on Feb. 27 2009 at 9:17 pm
This story is really neat!!

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