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He wasn't anything to me. Well, nothing special, anyways. Just a friend. A friend that i happened to be falling in love with.
i stripped down to the tank top that i was wearing and my undies. The wind lightly slapped my face, the cold air surrounding me. I shivered slightly, and hugged myself.
"You won't do it." he said. I laughed at him, and replied the same way i had the last five times he said that.
"Yes, i will."
It was a cutesy argument that I knew i was going to win.
The feeling was new to me. A feeling of sureness, directness, and most of all independence. I could feel it all around me, my choice already made. The jump into the icy water just seconds away.
I looked back at him, and he shook his head with that slight smile on his face. Its that smile that i would soon grow to love. It was that smile that i would soon live for.
Before he could spit out the words again once more, my feet took action. I took three quick steps and felt myself preparing for the jump. My back arched and my heels kicked off the ground. Before my mind had any idea what was going on, i was surrounded by icy water.
I was being frozen, pushed and pulled by the lake that i was emerged in. Yet, all i felt was peace. For one moment, a small and insignificant moment, i felt like the world was not harsh nor crude, but just the world. It was a place where we all lived, loved, and died.
That moment was over before it even begun.
Suddenly i was panic stricken, my head failing to break surface with the water. As i pushed myself towards the top, i felt my lungs give way, there was no more air. I fought harder.
I then felt the crisp air on my face, the wind blowing and stinging in my eyes. As i gasped desperately for air the waves crashed all around me, and water flowed into my lungs. Coughing, i reached out for the edge of the lighthouse. I reached out for something, anything to hold on to.
It wasn't until later that i realized that in life i was doing just that. Reaching out for something, someone to hold on to. Something to pull me out of the crashing water all around me before i drown.
"WILL!" i screamed, the letters thick in my mouth. I could hardly whisper, but somehow it came out in a shout. I heard the panic in my voice.
Before i could blink he was at the edge, pulling me in. I slipped on the stair twice, scraping my elbows and knees in my attempts to save myself. It was the best feeling in the world.
From that night on i was different, somehow. Changed. I became a new person, even if the only one who really realized was me. When i jumped off that pier, into the icy water, i made my own choice. I made my own decision. It was from then on that i decided who i was. Will just happened to be in the equation, and still is.
From that night on i was who i was looking for all along.
From that night on i was me.