David Clare watched the clock intensely. It was 1 pm. At 5 o'clock he could leave his unfulfilling accounting job and head on to something more important like sleep. At 4:30, his boss, Henry, would give an unscheduled speech on how horrible the employees of the office had done that day, how America is falling behind China, and how the apocalypse was on its way. He steered off course a lot. 7 am was when everyone arrived at work. Those were the only events worth looking forward to in the day. In between 7 and 5, David was forced to invent events to pass the time.
"Titus! Get to work, China’s on our tail", Henry yelled.
"I would, Henry. But I have to check on Freddy", David answered.
David was given the nickname "Titus", because he was the self proclaimed funny guy in the office. Therefore Henry felt it fitting to give him the nickname of world famous comedian, Christopher Titus. He was the only person in the office who knew who he was.
"Who is Freddy?", Henry demanded," There are no guests allowed in the office."
"No no", David replied. "He was here way before us. Actually, we're the guests here."
"I don't understand", Henry replied confused, "Freddy, was here before us? Is this the work of China?"
"Nope. He's the spider I found this morning."
"And this spider. Is it big?", Henry was becoming nervous . Everyone in the office knew he was afraid of spiders.
"Not too big. Not even half a foot."
"Oh God. You've got to get rid of it?"
"Yes I did. I caught him in a box and put him on your desk. I thought you'd like to see him later."
Henry muttered. “And I suppose you are going to take it out of there later. Right?”
“Nope.”
“Well why not?”
“Well Henry, I was about to, but then you reminded me that I have work to do in the form of a form. Plus, Freddy is harmless. When I found him, he was only harassing two children. I normally harass three so it is better that you handle this.”
“Cut out the sarcasm”, Henry remarked. “If you're not gonna handle this, I will.”
With that, he marched to his office and proceeded to his desk. On it was a small shoebox. Henry reluctantly picked it up with intent to dispose of it. But something was wrong. Rather than maintaining a firm grip on the box, his fingers slid through the cardboard and into the box. There, where his hand should have grabbed solid cardboard, was a spider sized hole in the side.”
From outside the room, the entire office could hear Henry screaming followed by him running from the room.
"David!", Henry cried.
"Oh, Henry", David said calmly", I didn't know if your name was spelled with one r or two so I put three on this form. You're welcome."
"David. I command you to go get that spider out of my office. Now!"
"Why? Did Freddy do something wrong? He should be calmly relaxing in his box."
"It escaped."
"Oh no", David remarked sarcastically. "I told him not to, but he never listens to me. Oh well. If Freddy wants your office, who am I to tell him no. What kind of parent would that make me if I did?"
"Get it out of my office!"
"Ok", David replied as he got up and proceeded towards the door. "I hope you're happy", he said as he walked through the door.
David closed the door and proceeded to the box and turned it over to the hole he cut with scissors. He made it look rugged so it could pass as a spider's hole.
"I found Freddy!", David lied. The whole office cheered. "Hey buddy. Just get in the box. Wait. What are you doing?" His voice became worried. "No Freddy, don't knock Henry's..." David tipped Hendy's desk on it's side. "No. Not the filing cabinet, Freddy." David then tipped it over.
"Is everything ok in there, Titus?", Henry asked sounding concerned.
"Yes", Davis replied. "I'm about to throw him out the window. There was a banging noise. "Ok. He's gone."
The entire office began to applaud. Henry was relieved. He walked in smiling until he saw what was left of his office, and standing in the middle was David Clare.
"Freddy says hi", David said.