The Outside In | Teen Ink

The Outside In

January 9, 2009
By Anonymous

If you looked at her on the outside you would see a beautiful girl, and not know that she had been through a lot of pain. She always wondered where her parents were; not aware if they cared that she had run away.

February 4, 2010
I’m Larissa Canti and I ran away. I have been gone for over a year now, and it’s been tough out here not know where I’m going to be sleeping or even where my next meal is going to come from. Last night I slept in an abandon building. It was very scary; I couldn’t sleep at all, hearing the mice crawling around and the cop cars every second of the night. I used to have a better life until my parents were having problems in there relationship and resorted to alcohol to solve there problems. I have seen my picture on milk cartons and flyers that have been posted up. I want to go back so bad that it hurts but I don’t want to go back to the beatings and the physical and mental abuse. Every night I cry myself to sleep because it hurts badly because I miss home. I’m scared to go to the police because they’re just not going to believe me and then my parents will just continue to abuse me and ruin my life. Everyone always asks me why do I want to go back and I say because I just miss my family and my comfortable bed. Even if I were to go back I wouldn’t be in school seeing as my parents don’t think I need school and plus they don’t want to pay for it, they feel it’s a waste of time. I feel that they want me to grow up to be a druggie and alcoholic like them. They just don’t get it. As I sleep this memory of my past keeps flashing back in my mind: right after I got back form school my mom stopped me and kept saying where were you, she was so wasted she wouldn’t even let me talk; then she slapped me. That’s when I left. I was tired of it. One person can’t take so much abuse in their life.

July 5, 2010
After 6 months of deciding should I call my parents. I built up the courage to make a phone call to my mom. When I called she acted like she was so concerned with that “I missed you so much.” Please, give me a break! While I was talking to her she said that she had stop drinking and has been in rehab for 7 months. When she told me this, I broke into tears because she also said that she did this for me so that I would come back home. I was so ready to go back home seeing as my mom at least made an effort to get help, so that our life will be better. But I had one more question to ask my mom, “what about Dad, how is he doing,” and my mom said, “We got a divorce.” When she said this I was jumping for joy literally. So as I told my mom where I was, I was thinking what will happen next?

June 6 2012
It’s been 2 years since I wrote in my journal. Where has the time gone? Let’s rewind a couple years back. Where did I leave off? Oh yes, I was asking myself what will happen next: When my mom picked me up. I hardly recognized her she looked cleaner and happier than before. It made me happy because it made her happy. After we talked half the way home we turned down an unfamiliar street and I asked my mom, “Where are we going,” and she said, “Oh I forgot to tell you that we moved closer to your school, so you can go to school now.” As she said this my eyes got bigger because first she didn’t want me to go to school and second WE MOVED! That’s a biggie. When I got home I ran straight up to the room that had my name on it, and I opened the door and the room was my favorite colors blue and pink. How awesome. My mom remembered my favorite colors: How surprising! Before she couldn’t even remember my birthday. I have to go now. I want to enjoy my comfortable room.
TTYL!


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