December 21, 2008
Just keep going is what I keep telling myself. It’s too late to stop now. It’s catching up with me. I’ve got to keep moving. I busted through the loud doors that lead to the 10 floor stair case. There were dim lights that flickered through the twists and turns in the narrow hall. I jogged in order to keep my energy equal and not use it all at one time. This was a good strategy until I heard it racing up the stairs behind me. I broke into a run.
Faster. Faster.
I’ve run away from all the mistakes I made in the past. I ran away from when I lied to keep myself in a higher position and away from trouble.
Second floor. I never took the time to realize that my home is where I truly belong, with my family.
Faster. Faster.
Third floor. It’s coming closer. Chills ran through my spine and my feet were leading my body which was filled with fear.
Fear. The thing that always made me move backwards. The thing that has made me unable to move on all these years. Fear is holding me back. Fear is causing me to slow down. Fear is giving it a chance to catch up with me. Fear is going to tear my life apart.
Fourth floor. Gotta keep moving.
Faster. Faster.
Unable to breath, I clung to the rail for support as I dragged myself up the old and cracked stairs that lead to the place unknown. I’ve lived in a place unknown for years now. I ran away from everything I knew, and I didn’t want it back…until now.
Faster. Faster.
My heart was beating uncontrollably. I took deep breaths as sweat rolled down my face. I was exhausted. I didn’t know if I could take this much longer. It’s the same way I felt when ran away. I couldn’t take life any longer, so I did what was best for me. But was it really the best?
Fifth floor, I’m going through I serious break down. Break downs are what caused me to cry in any strange moment. I hold things deep inside until they reach a point where I can’t bury them any longer.
Focus. I’ve got to focus. This thing was getting closer. I could feel its steps behind me. This led me to sprint.
Sixth floor…seventh floor…eighth floor…ninth floor….Ahah! Tenth floor. I could feel the cold breeze coming from the outdoors. My legs were tired from running for what seemed to be hours now, but it was finally here. I felt as if when I burst through that door, a rush of freedom would come pouring in.
Wrong. Just the roof. I thought running away my family would cause freedom, but I was wrong about that too. Now, all I have is a 20 by 20 roof with nowhere to hide. Only open space and the ground below. I ran over to the edge and stood there waiting for my death sentence. This was it. Either I jump or face my doom. I let the cold breeze and night air surround me. I watch the lights on all the buildings around town.
I was alone. This, I was used to. I had been alone even when I was with family who loved me. I separated and become one to myself. I’ve isolated from everyone I truly cared about even though I didn’t know I cared at the time. That’s the thing that really bothers me. I had everything I ever needed and I ran away from it. Now I know that I can’t keep running from what’s supposed to make me a better person. I want to be a better person, but now it was too late. I heard a burst through the doors and slow steps coming closer.
Faster? No, it’s time to stop running and face my fears.
Hot breath was floating around my neck. I shivered but remained still. Now it was time. I slowly turned around and soon came face to face with myself.

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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

jdubbbu said...
Jan. 18, 2009 at 6:32 am
Very open and honest,creative, and thought provoking. Often we have fear that wants us to destroy us, but facing and taking charge over our situtaions and stop running from our problems instead you chose to deal with it with courage fearlessly, just as you will in life itself. Keep up the creative thinking outside of the "box" to express what's within your heart. Great work, keep it up.
MR said...
Jan. 9, 2009 at 9:05 am
Beautiful article! This is very true: problems don't solve themselves. Everyone can relate to this article. Thank you for sharing Centiviya!
Latochia said...
Jan. 7, 2009 at 4:26 pm
That was a very encouraging word. Great job!
Rochelle D said...
Jan. 7, 2009 at 12:04 am
Outstanding job Centiviya! Keep up the good work.
DEBBY A said...
Jan. 6, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Great story. It was very fast paced and struck a nerve at the end. We do run from our problems too much. Keep on writing!
Lin R said...
Jan. 6, 2009 at 7:06 pm
WONDERFUL! I, too, kept reading faster to the end. I'm very proud of you.
Jill T said...
Jan. 5, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Great article...really kept me trying to read it FASTER to the end! Great job, Centiviya!

Jill T.
Deborah G. said...
Jan. 5, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Great job babygirl, keep up the good work. I knew you could do it. Love ya deb
Doug said...
Jan. 3, 2009 at 3:27 am
Great job on providing a way for other teens to take time to face their problems so maybe they could at least get an outlet from other sources other than themselves like their parents or other close relatives and friends to help them overcome their situation or make a sound decision.
FloridaBeauty said...
Jan. 3, 2009 at 2:31 am
Wow! I don't know where to begin. This is a great illustration of how people try to run away from their problems only to find out that running does not solve anything. It is true that when faced with a problem it is better to face it head-on rather than run because running away never solves anything. Great job! I loved the story!!
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