Average Friday

December 14, 2008
By Andrew McWard BRONZE, Fairway, Kansas
Andrew McWard BRONZE, Fairway, Kansas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

It was an average Friday. At the end of school, my friends and I walked down to the Max- a shopping center that includes stuff like Star Bucks and a drugstore. We hung out for a while, but it eventually got dark. Usually we’ll just go to someone’s house and hang out there for awhile when the Max gets boring. At the time it was just John, Matt, and me. John’s house was the closest so that’s where we decided to go. But John declared we would take the “Scenic Route” in which we had to go through a small forest. It was fine until we had to go across a small bridge. Matt was texting and both John and I wanted to see what he was saying. He said no, we tackled him, and he dropped his phone off the bridge and into the small creek. Matt cursed, and demanded that we go find his phone in the creek. Unfortunately it was dark out and his cell phone was……black.

“This I why I hate winter, the days are too short and it gets dark too quickly.” said John. “Matt, we’ve been searching for 20 minutes. Give it up.” I said, “Well even buy you a new one.” “No way guys. I like this phone” said Matt. John yelled “But it takes a whole day to charge, and you have to extend the antenna to make a call.” “Well it has sentimental value to me.” replied Matt again.

We kept on searching for another 20 minutes, when I heard a thump behind me. I looked back and saw that John had slipped and hit his head against a rock, and he was knocked out. Matt and I pulled him to the bank of the creek and decided what to do. We decided not to tell anyone, and get him to his house without his parents finding out. We dragged him to his house, and in the light, saw that his head was drenched in blood.

Matt distracted his parents, while I took John to his room upstairs. Then he woke up and asked what happened. “You fell asleep and we took you home” I hastily replied. John didn’t believe me and before I could stop him he walked into his bathroom, which had a mirror. Then his saw his head (covered with blood) and screamed.

“That sounded like John” said John’s mom. “Oh uh, well I think John must have fallen down. He uh, did it last time we were here.” stammered Matt. “Well I’m still going up to see.” replied John’s mom. “DID YOU HEAR THAT ANDREW? IM COMING UPSTAIRS WITH JOHN’S MOM TO SEE JOHN!” yelled Matt.

Hearing Matt’s yells I hastily helped John clean up the blood. There was still a huge cut so I threw a hat on him. We explained to John’s mom that he had just stubbed his toe, and he was wearing a hat because it was cold. Then I called my mom to take me home, and I prayed that John’s parents didn’t find out.

Well they did. But luckily John said that he had said that Matt and I had nothing to do with it. But in return, he didn’t have to pay for his half Matt’s new cell phone. Aw well, I guess I won’t be able to buy that new video game I wanted after all.

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This article has 7 comments.

on May. 29 2011 at 2:47 pm
Charly11d7 GOLD, Cumming, Georgia
12 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want" Psalm 23:1

I thought it was great! An awesome short story! Keep writing!

smartee123 said...
on Dec. 26 2010 at 10:09 pm
It was good but honestly its not my favorite. You should add more descriptions and your characters need more animosity. They all act so bland with each other. Keep writing, its okay

Elisabeth GOLD said...
on Sep. 26 2010 at 9:42 am
Elisabeth GOLD, Nottingham, New Hampshire
10 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A true friend is hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

Ok I am sorry but I did not like it that much. I think it has great potenital if yuo added more detail and explained some things, like why the cell phone was so important, or how John got cut or decribed the setting a little more. I think you could turn it into something good, but keep working!

on Apr. 28 2010 at 8:28 pm
elle_la_vie BRONZE, Cresskill, New Jersey
1 article 11 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
the man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. :)

i thought it was good

Lahari GOLD said...
on Jan. 5 2010 at 6:06 pm
Lahari GOLD, Edison, New Jersey
19 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\\\\\"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That\\\\\\\'s why its called the present.\\\\\\\"
— Eleanor Roosevelt

\\\\\\\"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.\\\\\\\'

yeh i didnt like it much. u need to extend it.

SelahSecrets said...
on Nov. 25 2009 at 9:04 pm
SelahSecrets, Burleson, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is what happens when your busy making other plans."- John Lennon

Details! Add a lot more details. Don't make everything happen too quickly, and don't end the story so abruptly. Extend the plot, don't make your overall message so minuscule compared to the situation. John could have had a concussion, causing the narrator not to get a video game. The over-all message needs to even out with the situations in the plot. Good luck! I look forward to reading more of your work.

Fredwardness said...
on Sep. 17 2009 at 2:09 pm
Umm...im so srry i really didn't like it, maybe if u had extended more and told me y the cell phone was lost...keep trying


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