Good Things Take Time

October 19, 2012
By a_wilson BRONZE, Bridgeview, Illinois
a_wilson BRONZE, Bridgeview, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I'm pretty, but I'm not beautiful.
I'm sin, but I'm not the devil.
I'm good, but I'm not an angel.
I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.”

“We need a break. You’re smothering me and I need time away from you. I can’t deal with you constantly needing to know my every move and wanting to hangout every given moment of the day. Especially with finals coming up, it’s just too much for me right now. I didn’t sign up for this. I wanted a boyfriend, someone to support and understand me. Not a second father.” Sure, saying this via text message was probably the shallowest thing she could have done, but she was too terrified of the thought of saying this to his face. What would he have done? More than likely begged for her back pathetically or take it to a whole new level and hurt her for even thinking of breaking up with him. She did not want to take part in either of those. Nothing plagued her more. “What are you doing?” “Why aren’t you texting me back?” “Who are you really with?” “What are you really doing?” She was overwhelmed. He had no reason not to trust her, and he had absolutely no reason to stalk her for 3 months after the break up. Being stalked is never a good thing, but to be stalked by someone who has been so close to you for the past 10 months and knows EVERY-little-THING about you, is much worse. Sugar-coating it by saying “We need a break” was the best thing she could have done. Although it gave him false hope, it kept her away from him for a while. She knew she would never go back to him, but how was she to tell an unreasonable stalker that? For three months straight he would text her novels, apologizing and claiming to give her space. He was only contradicting himself, how was he giving her any space if he was texting her EVERY DAY, for three months straight? Matters only got worse when she broke and told him she wanted nothing to do with him, ever again. She was living in a hell zone. Afraid to b**** him out anymore, she was stuck. Nothing good would come from any of this, she thought for the longest. If she were to b**** him out, one of two things would happen. He would reveal the harsh truths about this girl, or make things up and manipulate people into believing she was the bad one in the situation. She could not win. He had taken all her away from all of her friends during their relationship. No one was there for her, and no one knew the truth of the situation. Besides her of course. And so the false accusations began.
“Hey! I heard you and Adam broke up, is it true?”
“What happened?!”
“It’s a long story, but I broke up with him.”
“Uhm, that’s not what I heard...”
“What did you hear..?”
“According to him, you’re a cold-hearted b**** and only treated him like dirt your whole relationship. He said you’ll never find someone that will want to be with you and that you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life.”
Of course, she was the only that knew the complete truth. Knowing that there was nothing she could say to make anyone believe her, she kept to herself for months. She didn’t care what anyone else thought of her, she knew she was far from a “cold-hearted b****”. However, the phrase continued to eat her up inside. It was as though he had her life in his hands and crushing it more day by day. Making her life a living hell was more than satisfying for him. The last thing she wanted was for him to be satisfied. She would no longer let him control her life. “Isn’t that all men want, to control something?” she thought. It was all any guy she ever met had wanted, even her own father. She came to the conclusion: ALL GUYS ARE CONTROLLING ASSHOLES. Watching her own mother live miserably, she realized the cruel realities of marriage and she wanted nothing to do with it, ever. A boy will claim he loves you and do anything for you, but once he has you all he does is hurt you. Day after day, week after week; physically and emotionally and so, you continue to grow weaker yourself. But as she watched her family slowly grow apart something inside her clicked. Realizing that true happiness lives inside of her, not in anything going on around her, she would no longer let anything affect her. She would become numb to all of her surroundings. She had no cares for anyone, their opinions, or anything going on around her. It was all working out just fine for her, she was completely content with feeling absolutely nothing towards anyone. Feeling at first as though she could carry on this way forever, the thought of being alone for the rest of her life haunted her. Would she ever find someone? Then again, how could she if she was constantly shutting people out and pushing them away?
Maybe she would give it a chance. Some day of course, but not anytime soon. She wasn’t ready yet, and was beyond unsure of when she would be. So she did what any other single, 16 year old girl would do. Not on the hunt for a relationship, she continuously hooked up with guys at parties. Not giving herself up to just anyone though! This girl had standards. Six months passed, until she eventually got sick of all the pigs coming after her. Because that is all they were, Pigs. Any guy she began to develop even a crush for, turned out to want nothing more than sex, WHAT EVERY TEENAGE BOY WANTS. And so she gave up on the hook ups in fear of getting attached to someone that would only use her. Nonetheless, the summer parties continued. She attended as many as possible with her close friend, Michelle, before she left for college. Michelle had been there for her through EVERYTHING. Since the day she left Adam until that night, the night she met Darek. Naturally, she looked like complete s*** that night. She had so much going on at home that all she wanted was to get out of the house. With no idea what she was doing or where she would end up that night, she threw on some yoga pants and a hoodie and waltzed out of her house. Must I add that she had NO make-up on? She was about to meet her future boyfriend and she had NO MAKE-UP ON. Of course, she had no idea this was all about to happen.
“Hey.” She said, arriving at the park.

“Hey, how’s it going? I’m Darek, nice to meet you.” He replied.
He had already been informed that she would be meeting them there. Michelle had told him all about her, and from what she could tell he was happy to meet her. They came to the mutual decision of going to a little get together that night. Michelle had set it up so that there was “no room” in her car. And so this confused girl was forced to ride with Darek. She didn’t complain though. He was hot, polish, and funny; in other words, completely her style. She was completely into him and would not take this car ride for granted. With no intentions of going to the party, they drove around for what turned into hours talking about anything and everything to keep from awkward silence. She was surprised by him. He didn’t try to make any moves; he didn’t even try to get her number. She began to think. “Maybe all guys aren’t the same.. We are alone and have done nothing but talk for two hours straight.. He’s different.” It was left at that. He dropped her off, and she couldn’t help but think about him for the next few days. He was different. He was cute. He was funny. She even began to wonder about a future with him but kept herself from getting her hopes up. With her luck, it was all too good to be true and she was only over thinking it all. Or was she? A week later, she was at a party. Drunk, she texted Michelle about him. Telling her exactly how she felt about him, and how happy she had been ever since meeting him. Michelle, being Darek’s best friend as well, enlightened her by saying “He is a really sweet guy. I’ll talk to him for you!” Only minutes later she got a text saying “Hey! It’s Darek ?.” Nearly falling down the stairs with happiness, although being drunk didn’t help, she screamed! “OH MY GOD, HE TEXTED ME !!!” She had never been so happy to see a random number pop up on her phone. That’s when it all started. And it hasn’t stopped since. It was clear the feelings between them were mutual. They began hanging out here and there. Weeks after beginning to talk, he made a move. He kissed her, and she felt butterflies that she had never felt before. A month has passed now, and she is happier than she has ever been. Not worried about the label of “dating”, they are together. She learned that good things really do take time.

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