Frog Eye Pizza

May 29, 2012
By Anonymous

It was Saturday afternoon and I was sitting in my room with my friend, Dorothy. My sister was in the kitchen with her biology group from school. I guess they were dissecting frogs for a lab project. It was close to lunch time, so they decided to order some pizza. My sister, Sue, asked me for some money. Not wanting to start a fight, I gave her a couple dollars and some change. They ordered the pizza and the guy came to deliver it. I figured since I contributed money to get the pizza, Dorothy and I should have a piece.

We walked into the kitchen. Sue stood up and asked me in a harsh tone, “What are you guys doing in here?”

“Getting a piece of pizza!” I exclaimed.

“Oh no you’re not! Mom, Dad! Nancy is trying to take all the pizza for her and Dorothy to eat!”

“Am not!” I shouted so loudly that my parents could hear.

“Are too, you liar!” Sue shot back loud enough again for our parents to hear us yelling.

“Nancy, come in here please. I need to talk to you,” my dad said from the living room.

“Ha-ha!” my sister said proudly.

“Be quiet! This is so not fair,” I snapped back and walked into the living room, pushing open the door madly and letting it slam shut. Dorothy waited in the kitchen until I came back.

When I entered the living room, my dad was sitting in his chair and had his reading glasses on, reading the newspaper as always. My mom was standing in the middle of the room ironing some shirts and pants. My dad set the newspaper in his lap and looked up at me, pushing his glasses to the brim of his nose.

“Nancy, you have to leave them alone. They are trying to get their lab work done. They all pitched in some money to get those pizzas, so if you and Dorothy want a piece, ask them if it’s alright before helping yourself to the pizza,” he said in a stern voice.

“But Dad, I paid for some of the pizza too. Sue came in my room and asked for a couple dollars, so I gave her some money,” I responded.

“Sue, get in here,” Dad said.
She came in with a mad look. “What?” she questioned as she put her hands on her hips, cocked her head, and glared halfway between me and Dad.

“Nancy said she paid for some of the pizza too. Is that true?” asked my dad.

“Yes,” Sue responded with a sigh.

“Well, then let Nancy and Dorothy have a piece or two,” my dad told her.

“Mom!” Sue groaned.

Mom stopped ironing and said in an upset tone, “Just let them each have a piece; we don’t need anymore fighting.”

“Fine,” Sue said and marched back into the kitchen.
I let her be in there for a while before I went back in. When I went back into the kitchen, Sue wasn’t there, so Dorothy and I decided to take a piece of pizza.

“Where’s Sue?” I asked, not that I really cared at the moment.

“Oh, she went downstairs to get something in the basement for our lab,” Sue’s friend, Chris, responded.

There was a plate on the table that wasn’t touched, so I slowly came up with a plan to get her back. “Oh,” I said. “Is this her pizza?”

“Yes,” Chris responded.

On the table, I saw they all had brown paper bags. I peeked in each of them and saw with my own eyes, FROG EYES! “Hey, are you guys doing anything with those frog eyes or are they trash?” I asked. Dorothy gave me a suspicious look, but I just smiled back at her and gave her a thumbs up.

“No, they’re trash. We’ll throw them away later,” Chris said.

“Can I have one?” I asked.

“I guess. Here,” Chris said and gave me one with a suspicious look. I snatched it right away and was grossed out. It looked creepy and felt slimy and gooey.

“Thanks,” I replied in a cheerful, but sly, tone. I carefully pulled some of the cheese up off the pizza and put the frog eye on the pizza. Then I set the cheese back down on top of the eye. I did it so perfectly that the eye looked like an air bubble in the pizza! Dorothy and I were smiling and smirking at each other. Chris just stood there frozen, not knowing what to do. She looked like she was trying to say something but didn’t know how to. We heard the footsteps of my sister coming back up the steps. Dorothy and I stopped smirkking and started to eat our pizza like nothing had happened.

Sue came up, put whatever she had down, and sat down with Chris to eat her pizza. Chris’ face got a shade brighter and Dorothy and I glared at each other and then at Sue to see if she would react.

“What?” Sue questioned.

“Nothing,” I said. “Thanks for letting me have a piece of pizza. I really appreciate it,” I said in a cocky tone.

“It’s not like I had a choice anyway,” Sue responded. I just smiled. She picked up her pizza and started to eat it. It was like slow motion in my mind. She slowly picked up the pizza, brought it to her mouth, opened up her mouth, and stuck it in.
I started to gasp and look away for fear she knew I did something. I looked back at her just in time because she bit down exactly where the frog eye was and the cheese was runny. I couldn’t believe my eyes! SCORE!! Sue swallowed her bite and the frog eye pizza was in her stomach.
Dorothy and I couldn’t keep it in us anymore and started laughing hysterically. “Sue, guess what I did?!” I blurted out.
“What did you do?” she cautiously questioned back.
“I put a frog eye on your pizza and you ate it,” I responded happily.
“You did not,” she told me.
“Yes I did! Check for yourself, go through all of the garbage, but do you really think I would lie to you about something like that?” I said. She gave me a look of disbelief and started to dig through the garbage and look through all of the bags. When she got to the last bag, she said “Oooo! What am I going to find in this bag? One eye instead of two?”
“I don’t know. Open it up,” I replied back.
“Fine I will. Here it goes. I’m going to find only ONE eye. Yeah right, like I ate a frog eye pizza,” Sue said as she opened the bag all the way and dumped it upside down. One eye came rolling out.
I tapped Sue, pointed to the bag and said, “Hey Sue, where’s the other eye? I believe I only see one eye.”
“Nancy, where is IT? Where is the other eye?” she questioned in an angry voice and then looked at Dorothy and Chris who were laughing and bright red in the face.
I pointed to her stomach. “I told you. I made a frog eye pizza and gave it to you. You ate the frog eye.”
Sue went running into the living room and said to our parents, “Do you know what Nancy did to me?”
“No, what did she do?” Dad said.
Sue replied, “Now, you know Mom and Dad, I don’t think this is funny at all, but she put a FROG EYE on my pizza!”
My dad laughed a little and said, “Well Sue, Nancy does a lot of work around here and gets a good allowance. On the other hand, you do very little and have to ask Nancy to pay for your part of the pizza and then you want to exclude her from having some, so that was her way of getting you back. Is it right? No, but that was her way of doing it. The moral of the story is that if you do the right thing and work for your money, you won’t have to ask other people to pay your way out.”
My sister was so mad at me for putting a frog eye on her pizza, she wouldn’t talk to me for a week! I put the eye on her pizza because she wouldn’t let Dorothy and I have a piece, even though I paid for part of the pizza. I guess I took the situation a little too far, but I thought making Sue a frog eye pizza was hilarious at the time. Now, she isn’t mad at me anymore for putting the frog eye on her pizza and we both laugh whenever we talk about her lab and frog eye pizza.

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