Ray and I sat alone and waited to hear about Tina. She was in surgery for almost four hours now. It was almost 12:00 o'clock in the morning and I was beginning to worry. I shook with terrible fright, tears rolled down my cheeks. I wanted to know that Tina was okay, she was the only one that truly understood me and I can't even imagine life without her. Ray sat across from me, staring down at the floor with his fingers intertwined with each other. He never made any eye contact with me once; he didn't even tell me it would be okay. Isn't that what a father supposed to do?

The doctor came in and by the grim look on his face I could tell it was bad news, Tina was dead. Before he could even get the words out I was on my knees on the floor. My face was in my hands and I was crying my heart out. This just couldn't be, not Tina, not Tina.

"I'm truly sorry for your lost," The doctor choked, sounding as if he was about to cry himself.

"You ain't sorry!" Ray barked in rage.

"Mr. Homes there wasn't much we co-."
Before the doctor could get his last words out Ray had him by his throat and slammed him into the wall. He was so close to the doctors’ face that their noses could touch.

"Don't tell me that bull!" Ray boomed, " You told me four hours ago that she had a chance and now you wanna tell me she dead! That ain't goin' down with me son. You better be watchin' yo back cause death go’ ne be com'in yo way real soon." Ray let go of the doctors’ throat and glared at him with hatred for a few seconds before he turned to me, "Let's go Destiny!"
I struggled to keep my balance as I made my way over to him. I just couldn't believe what I was hearin'. Ray acted as if it was a normal thing for someone to die in our family. I took a quick glance at the doctors’ fearful face before Ray grabbed me roughly by the arm and pulled me out the waiting room. The next time I saw the doctor there was a picture of him on the news five days after Tina's death and a reporter was saying that he was shoot in the head. The same way Tina died.






................

"Destiny!" Ray called furiously.
My eyes flew open when I heard him call me and by the sound of his voice I could tell he was getting upset. "Coming, sir," I called tiredly. I looked at the time on my alarm clock. It was 9:22 p.m.; I had slept for almost 5 hours. I groaned irritably and sat up quickly and knew it was a terrible mistake. Every bone in my body ached from the beat down Ray had given me the night before. I got up and went to his room.

He was laying on the bed with nothing on but his boxer shorts. The moon shined in from his bedroom window. Revealing all of the marks he had from all the fights he has gotten into over the years. I stood in the door way.

"Come here," he commanded as he looked me up and down, observing me.

I walked over to the side of his bed and I stood there.

"Lay down."

I lay down next to him; the heat from his body ain't stopping the chills from going through my soul because I knew what was going to happen.







..............

I watched from the crack I had made through my door, Ray threw another punch at the man, this time at his ear. I could see the man spiral on the floor and cough up some blood. His left eye was swollen shut and he had a bloody broken nose. I should be used to seeing scenes like this but I just wasn't. I was only 5 when I saw Ray beat my momma to death, I'm 17 now and I still can't get over it, but who would?

"Now I'm go’ ne ask you one more time," Ray barked rigidly. His fist was balled up, ready to strike again if need be. "Where my bread?"

"Please, Ray, give me some more time, I promise I'll get it to you." His voice trembled in terror.
Ray was a leader of a gang called the 'Killer Tears'. He was feared by all of the men in the ghetto. He sold many things. Guns, crack, anything that was good and he could get his hands on. Sometimes people couldn't pay him right at that time so he gave them a dead line. When the dead line came around and you didn't have his money, death was cumin yo way.

"I said I wanted my money today," Ray said," Yo time is up son, give me my gun."

His second hand man handed him a small hand gun. Two men that worked for Ray grabbed the man by his arms and forced him on his knees. Ray put the gun to the back of the man’s head. The man closed his good eye and waited. Ray took a quick glance in my direction and I saw I was watching, before he pulled the trigger. BANG!






.............

I had to cook some dinner for Ray's crew after he was done cleaning up the mess he made. All the men were downstairs watch’ in football. The TV was turned up on full blast. I was upstairs getting ready to cook dinner for them when I heard someone making their way up the basement steps. I thought that it would be Ray getting upset that I hadn't put any hamburgers on yet so I got busy. But the person that came up the steps made my heart beat double time with fear.

"Hey, girl," Dexter said unsteadily as he made his way over to me. He was staggering as if it were an effort to stand up straight; he was wasted. He was one of Ray's closest friends. There was something about him that made me think he would turn on him one day.

"Dexter, leave me alone," I tried to sound brave but it was useless with my quivery voice.

"Leave you alone, girl I-I ain't did nothin' to y-y you." Dexter came closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. His breath ricked of beer, the smell was so unbearable that I had to hold my breath. He moved his lips to my ear and whispered to me, "I want you girl." Before I knew it his hand was on my butt.

"Get off of me, Dexter," I said with my teeth clenched tightly together.

"Don't act like you don't like it. I know you do girl, just act like I'm yo daddy."

That really made me go over the edge. "I said get yo hands off me!" I yelled. I spun around with utter anger, as I did so my elbow connected to Dexter’s jaw and before I knew it he was on the ground. I wasn't tryin' to hit him I was just tryin' get him away, but since I did it was a mistake I couldn't take back. I backed up against the refrigerator. As if that was goin' protect me, but as you would guess it didn't. Dexter got off the floor and came at me with all the anger he had. Before I could protect myself Dexter punched me in my jaw, the punch was so powerful that it knocked me out instantly.








...........

Ray is on top of me. His heavy body is weighing me down; he is rubbing his scratchy palm against my soft sensitive thigh. He starts to kiss my neck and is makin' his way down to my chest. I lay there, allowing him to do it cause I have no choice. His breath smelled of disgusting beer and it was start ‘in in to bother me. Ray looked deep into my eyes.

"Smile girl," he said. He put his lips up against my ear and whispered to me, “you go’ ne enjoy this girl, me and you go ‘ne have fun." Ray pressed down even harder on me and kissed my lips. Then he started to kiss me roughly on the neck. I winced and closed my eyes, praying to god that this would be over soon. I felt Ray’s hands began to pull down my panties.....

"Is anybody home?" Someone called at the door.

I sat up in my bed quickly and rubbed my eyes. I looked at my alarm clock and saw that it was 7:30 a.m. in the morning. How did I get in here? The last thing I remembered was getting punched in the jaw. Which I just now realized really hurt. Heavy knocking came at the door.

"Coming!" I said with frustration. I got up and as soon as I stepped foot out my room I smelled it. It smelled like rotting meat. I followed the smell until I saw what it was. It was coming from the kitchen....It was Dexter's dead body; he had been shot through the head 5 times. His lifeless eyes stared up at me. His body is still here and Ray didn’t get the door. That means his gone.

"Hello!" The voice came again but much stronger.

I didn't even answer, I needed to do something fast. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed some Feebrez. I sprayed the house down till it smelt like apple. Then I grabbed a blanket off the couch and put it over Dexter’s body. I nearly cried; I may have not liked him but I didn't want to see him dead. When I made sure that everything was good I opened the door and what greeted me there was an unpleasant face, a white man with a heavy built body, blue eyes, a salt and pepper mustache trimmed to perfection, his hair was slicked back with some kind of gel, he looked to be in his mid-30s.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Is Mr. Homes in?" He asked.

"No, not at the moment."

"I have a warrant to search the place, may I come in?"

My heart did flips, he was going to find the body and I was going to go to jail, that wasn't going down with me. I had to kill him that was the only thing that ran through my mind. I took a quick glance at his waist and saw he didn't have a gun. It was probably on his ankle but I could shoot him before he got to it.

"Come on in," I said. I moved out of the way. As soon as he was in I ran too my room and got the gun that Ray gave me for protection. I made sure there were bullets in them and headed out. I never thought I would have to do this but when you live in the ghetto things come at you that you have to be ready for. Good timing too cause he was now lifting up the blanket where Dexter dead body was. He looked at me and with utter shock.

"You wanna explain this to me?"

I pulled the gun out and pointed it at his head. "I'd rather not," I said. Then it happened. BANG!