I never thought a friendship could end this way. I am staring blankly at the window, repeating our last conversation in my mind and wondering what would have happened if we had changed it just a bit. I woke up this morning to the sound of you knocking on my door, asking why I was so mad at you. I didn’t answer, because I was incredibly surprised at your question. I knew that you knew. Why did you need to hear it once again? I knew that if I repeated what I had said before, you would start screaming. The silence was embracing the moment, and I could just see your teary eyes stare at your feet. It was getting very awkward, but I knew that any false movement would mean the end. I wasn’t ready for school yet, and I needed to get dressed, but I didn’t want to tell you to stay in my room or shut the door in your face. I just let out a soft “So…” and you understood me perfectly. You nodded twice, and then turned around. Watching you walk to your room was very painful. With slow steps, you got to the door, which you slammed behind you. I immediately felt empty inside, and realized that I needed to make things right between us. I brushed my hair a thousand times while staring at my ghostly reflection in the mirror, fighting my tears back. My day was a blur after that. I remember coming back from school, only to find you sitting on my bed, frowning. You said that there was absolutely no trust between us and that it was over. My heart was thumping, and I felt like it was going to explode anytime. I was speechless, and my throat was frozen. I licked my lips. They tasted like blood. I stared at your eyes, but you wouldn’t look at me. You were looking at the poster you made for my birthday. I could only say “I’m sorry”, because I could feel the tears racing towards my eyes. You looked at me, and asked me, once again, the reason why I was mad at you. I could feel my eyes rolling, but it was not my intention. You said “I thought so” and ripped my poster apart. I think you ripped my hopes and dreams as well. I don’t know why I was so weak. I should have answered you. Now, I just regret the past and I miss you.
The End of a Friendship
May 9, 2012