March 27, 2012
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Rain dribbles softly from the inky sky and wispy clouds float overhead. The lanky trees tower above the sandy beach concealed by a thick layer of fog. The cool sea breeze billows gently, running across my face and carrying words with it.
Whispers dance around my head. I spin rapidly, searching for the cause of the soft voice. Cascading ruby locks swirl around my face. My hair rests at my hips when I’m still. But when I move, I’m buried beneath its thick soft layers. Trapped. But there are times when I do find it useful. Like when I need to hide my deepest thoughts. Hide the scars of the past, so obviously swimming in the sapphire of my eyes. But I have learned to mask the truth from the faint of mind. Only those who have lived through true horrors can begin to understand; can see through me like I am transparent.

The voice calls once more. It taunts me and leaves me wondering where the veiled echo resides. It haunts me. The voice is empty. Lifeless. Broken. Tortured. Its feeble cry murmurs in the gray tinted ocean waves. It calls to me; the faint voice, following me like a shadow. I have hesitated before. But now there is no reluctance. I listen.

The crashing waves look hostile and peaceful. Gentle and deadly. Tempting. I hear my name once more.

I taste the ocean spray as it kisses my lips. The wet sand between my toes relaxes me. It reminds me of the fun I had as a child on this very beach. The Sun warming my pale skin, the squeals of laughter. It was all gone, lost in a blur of suffering. My exhausted mind ignores the chances for improvement. It only listens to the ways to end this pain. It listens to the voice. My voice.

My heart beats slow and steady in my chest. I put my right foot into the edge of the water; and then the left. It stings, brutal icy pain surges through me. I push aside my conscience and continue to walk. My feet tingle, then my legs, then my hips. Each begins to freeze as I enter the murky gray water. The cold stabs at my side. I push through the pain and the water rises to my chest. My body is numb. I turn around.

The fog is thicker. The trees grow smaller as I drift farther away from the shore. I remember my last words written on a piece of parchment.
“I am sorry.”
I turn back and face the open sea. The clouds, now ominous, come closer to me. I continue to walk. Each step more difficult as I begin to float. No. I tell myself. You must end this. Now. I walk faster and faster, then slowly become submerged in the icy water. My lungs burn and I choke on the water, gasping for air. The salted liquid penetrates my lungs and leaves me shaking. Growing lifeless. The surroundings fade to black.

And now it is done. I ended that life. The agony is over. The constant pain is gone. I watch the world, now a clouded figure, floating invisibly through the world that caused my dramatic action. I sit on the beach that took my life. I smile at the waves, at the rain, at the fog and soft sand. In my new life, the life after death, I smile at all those lifeless objects and ask them how they get through the day, having nothing. I smile hoping they will give me love and friendship. Something I now I see I always had. The only thing I thought I lacked was the thing that was most plentiful in my life. And now I am eternally cursed with a new dread. I took my life, and along with that the happiness of others. I am forced to watch other’s misery. And I am forced to live a life of loneliness, the only thing I was trying to escape. I also see that I was the cause of my pain. Fate was not to blame, nor was anyone in my life. Only me. I caused my misery, begging for more that could be granted and being ungrateful for the bountiful amount of love and joy supplied daily. Always see the light, or you can be trapped in an everlasting dread much worse than imaginable. You can be trapped like me.

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

hypermagical said...
Aug. 26, 2012 at 11:04 am
Haunting, eerie...excellent. You've brought a whole new dimension to this, just by using a different perspective, and your use of language is impeccable ( I sound like a food critic, I know) Keep up the awesome work!
EvanLaine replied...
Sept. 3, 2012 at 4:29 pm
thank you so much :) that truly means a lot to me. that was everything i was going for too! and you do sound a little bit like a food critic ;)
torilutz8 said...
May 2, 2012 at 11:16 am
Wow, you're imagery is to die for! I love this!!
EvanLaine replied...
Dec. 29, 2012 at 5:59 pm
thanks so much Tori :))
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