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You have to, darling.

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It's like in the movies. In the movies the world slowly fades around you. Everything becomes blurry. Tears blur your eyes. It happens in real life too. You're a little stunned for a minute. You don't register what's going on. Not really, not immediately. You keep your balance because you have to. Because you won't fall down. You can't let something like this knock you down. You make your way over to the window. Slow down. Don't walk. Don't let your mind run. Stand still. Take a breath. Open your eyes. He's not there anymore. Only his words.

We're over.

Repeating. Ringing in your ears with his sadness. You go back a minute ago. You know you nodded. Didn't say anything. It was the shock wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

You make your way towards the bathroom, getting lost in the waves of students. You can't take it but you have to. You can't watch the other couples but you have to. You can't let this get to you. You have to stay strong. Just stay strong. A few more minutes. The tears sting your eyes begging to be released. But you're too strong for that. You are, darling.

Run to the bathroom. Running, lock the stall. Wait until the heels stop clicking on the tile floor. Listen to the leaky pipes. Cover your mouth. Don't cry, darling. Don't cry.

You do.

You cry. The sobs are ugly sobs. They're not like the movies. Your mascara runs down onto your nose. You can't control the sobs making your body shake. Slide down onto the bathroom floor, with the dirt. Rest your head on the door. You can't go out there again. You can't face him again. You're sure you're a mess. You don't even bother looking in the mirror. You don't even bother waiting for the tears to stop. You grab your stuff and leave.

You don't want to. But you do.

Because you have to.





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