Who's That Girl?

February 10, 2012
By ElJay SILVER, Los Angeles, California
ElJay SILVER, Los Angeles, California
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Make noise while you can, after a while the world shuts you up."

It was then, when I knew my searching had been complete. I was on a scenic walk to the other side of Central Park, while others had a case of the Mondays I was strolling to pick up more milk for my Frosted Flakes, and then I saw her. I was tempted to call my mom and tell her I was in love. My heartbeat started racing and I broke out in a cold sweat. She was beautiful, no she was celestial. My eye felt unworthy to catch such a wonderful sight, but I could not look away from her amazing physique. I knew she must be mine, the only thing left to do was seduce her. And that’s what I, Victor Alejoa, would do.

“Hey” I said wanting to get her attention. No reply.

I decided to follow up with a classic conversation starter. “Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Gee, I don’t know that’s a long time.” She replied. She was feisty and bold, I liked that. When she turned my heart leaped because she had no ring on her left hand.
“Whoa, somebody woke on the wrong side of the bed.”
“No, it was the right side.” She continued to walk as if I were diseased. I’ll put it this way, if I’m peanut butter then she’s definitely allergic to nuts, but I didn’t care I would spend whatever sum of money it took to win her. My dad is a rags to riches entrepreneur.
“We’re having a conversation can you at least stop walking.”
She stopped walking turned around with a look so ferocious that made me feel three feet tall and her eight feet tall.
“Hm let me think, oh your minute’s up. Leave me alone.”
“So it’s like that huh? Why won’t you talk, I’ve seen your left hand. You aren’t married.”
“Yeah but I have a boyfriend.”
“And? Soccer has a goalie that doesn’t you can’t score.”
“You’re a d*****, you know that?
“Only a persistent d***** that only hopes to win your heart.”
“Whatever, why are you still here?”
“Because I need you in my life. Where are you headed anyways?”
“To work, where else would I be going?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never worked before, I’m an inherited millionaire.”
“Oh, did I mention I’m the Queen of England?”
“Then why are you working?”
“Um dude? I was kidding. I’m cashier in training at McDonald’s.”
“Come with me today, just think of it as a free trial offer.”
“What do you want from me? Leave now .”
Just then I saw a familiar yellow car that ruined my morning.
“Hello ma’am. Where’s your destination?”
“McDonald's, the one on 44th street.”
“Hey, at least let me pay for it, here’s a hundred bucks and my phone number.”

As the taxi sped off, I wondered if I’d ever see my dazzling delight ever again. I shrugged my shoulders and moved on, I still needed more milk. Only Frosted Flakes could pull me through this swag deficit, after all they’re great. So I headed to the store on the other side of the park.

When I got back to my house I got a phone call. It was from her the angel, ironically enough that was her name. We talked for a couple minutes because she was early for work and wasn’t needed yet, eventually she had to go and I went back to my cereal.
Later that day I searched her name on facebook,Angel Gonzalez, and added her as a friend.
For the next couple days I hadn’t talked to her, but I saw her from a distance waiting for a cab so one night I decided I would meet her at her stop.
I woke up eager to see her again today. I got dressed up in modest yet flashy clothes with no brands showing. I ate a feast fit for a king and drove to the usual spot in my subtle but gorgeous sparkling maroon Maserati. I arrived and realized something. I was there but she wasn’t. Then I woke up with three front teeth missing in a disclosed location.
“Where am I? Most importantly where are my teeth? They’re gone.”
“Thanks to me,” The massive man by the name of Tank said.
“Why?” I asked.
“You needed to be punished, you flirted with my girl.”
“I’m sorry which girl?”
“I know it may be hard, but don’t be stupid. It will hurt more.”
“What ever dude, she wants me.”
“So that’s what you think?” He whips out a pistol and pulls the trigger. Pow! Pow! Blood rushed from my leg.
“That’s just a taste, mess with her again and it’ll be your brains next time.”
The man hopped in my car and rushed off. I left may phone in the glove compartment.

“I can’t believe he shot you.” My brother said.
“I know, total psycopath.”
“We should go after him.”
“Yeah, because I’d love to go head to head with that brick wall of a person. He has more muscles in his neck than I have in my entire body.”
“Victor we won’t do it, hire someone to take him out. And if that’s really the case, go to the gym”
“Alright I’ll make a call.”

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This article has 1 comment.

on May. 1 2013 at 1:53 am
LiraDaeris PLATINUM, Tucson, Arizona
22 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Woah! Hold your horses, man! You got a cool story idea here, but it moves too fast with too much dialogue. Give some descriptions about what is going on in the scene. Paint a picture of what is going on and give hints as to why this girl would have such a thug boyfriend. Take your time to put in the details, and your cool stories will come to life :)


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