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Letter to my mother
Dec. 8th, 2015
It’s been a while since the last time we talked, but I still remember where we left our unfinished business. I know sometimes I wish I could kill you, and I know you feel the same, but other times, I just miss you so much I could cry. It’s been seven months since I left for college. Remember how I comforted you the night before I left, right before that fight?-
-It broke my heart. That’s why I couldn’t bear seeing your face one more time before I left, for if I did, I’d probably be at home with you right this second. I know you miss me, and I know dad misses me, and Joshua, and Lilly, and maybe even Hannah does too, but I promise I’ll be back. I told you I would. I’m sorry I didn’t send a letter any sooner; I wasn’t ready to face all of you again. I would have run back with you immediately.
I know it’s sad having your daughter thousands of miles apart, but it’s not like we’re never going to see each other anymore. I told you before mom, now with these computers, we have that Skype thing-
-and emails and you can always call me on my cell whenever you want. But not now, mom. Finish the letter.
Thanks. Well, dearest mother, by now, I can imagine you have entered my room, petted my stuffed animals, and probably organized and cleaned everything at least five times. I know it might be too much to ask but, please DON’T EVER do that again! It reminds me of this book we read together about this girl that died and how her mother always went up to her room to fix it up and pretend she was alive. But I’m not that girl, and I’m not even dead, so please, pretty please, stop doing it.
I can also imagine you have been trying to make up your mind as to what to do with my room. I know-
‘Shoot! I dropped it.’
- you’ve cried in there, thinking about when I was a little girl. I know you’re petting Mr. Pepper’s right this second, even though I told you two paragraphs ago not to do so. How weird... And that’s why I instructed Lilly to install some cameras in my room. Don’t act so surprised! I’m watching you mom. Yes, right this second. Bible! If you care to look up, you will be dazzled to find a little black semicircle attached to the ceiling. Yes, right there, next to my star shaped lamp. See? Look hard. Ok, not that hard.
Ha. Got ya! Don’t be so somber, you grumpy lady. I knew you would look up. You don’t really think I would actually do that, right? I mean, you’ve raised me to do better, mom. Oh, come on, you know that.
One thing I did tell Lilly to do, though, was to leave something very special in YOUR room, so please, go on and take a look. You can leave the letter here on my bed, it’s ok, I won’t pop up from somewhere and snatch it mom, I swear. I’ll wait for you, if that makes you happy. Go, now. GO! Soft landing.
I won’t continue.
Trust me mom.
See, I’m not writing anything important.
Bazingalooz, sqaushypecks, tornadohats, sunshowers.
You back yet?
Hi there. Welcome back! I suppose by that look on your face that you didn’t like it? Haha. Of course you did mom. You just nodded, didn’t you? Haha, no mom, I’m not watching you. You really want to know why I knew you would like it? Well obviously because I saw you staring at it when we went to the mall the Saturday before I left. Yes, at the Gucci stand. You had those puppy eyes, exactly like the ones Joshua has when he ‘innocently’ asks to go to the fun park. I hope you really do like it, and I expect you to wear it when I come and visit. Sure, try it on now, but please don’t wear it in front of Aunt Jessie. She’d probably steal it from you or something. Please don’t tell her I said that.
Anyways, I am writing to remind you of something VERY important.
‘Oh my goodness…did I-?’
No, you didn’t forget my birthday. And no mom, it’s not my boyfriend’s birthday either. I just want to make sure you know that I love you. Awwww, mom, don’t cry. I know we’ve had our ups and downs, and that we never truly bonded until I was out that old, white, front door, but I know we are close now, and so I feel the need to tell you just how much I love you. Ready? I love you, I love you, and I LOVE YOU! So, so much, mom. You are probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Look at those tears.
Well mom, it’s a bit late, so I have to go now. It was nice chatting with you, at least for a while. I know I promised I’d visit soon, but, you know, life’s busy, especially here in NY. But I promise, promise, promise I’ll come December eighth.
‘?, It can’t be..’
’Yes, mom! Today is December eighth. I’m kind of waiting downstairs, so I’d truly appreciate if you’d put this letter down and---