Chimpanzees Win Big at Oscars

December 14, 2011
By Anonymous

Almost everybody knows the old theory that states (stated) that if an infinite number of chimpanzees are given typewriters, one would eventually write Shakespeare (that was proved back in 2021 by scientists at Stanford University). Now, they’ve gone on to greater challenges. Dr. Marvin Sharp took the theory to the next level--his theory stated that if an infinite number of chimpanzees are given film equipment and materials they would eventually produce a hit film. The chimps in the experiment were not given any background information on film or even shown any movies to begin with. And on September 15, 2022, Sharp’s theory became fact. The film, simply titled Biopic, was written, produced, directed and starred chimpanzees from a nearby local zoo. The film itself chronicled the life and hardships of one of the chimps from the group, along with elements showing the deterioration of western civilization. The film is described as a nod to films such as The Wild Bunch and The Godfather in terms of emotional appeal as well as action and excitement (click HERE for our written review). The film premiered at Sundance and was an instant hit, winning the Grand Jury Prize for a Dramatic film along with critical acclaim for the lead actor (Bobo the Chimp, who played himself).

Two months later, Biopic was given a widespread release. It soon climbed to #1 at the box office and stayed there for 56 days, grossing just shy of $1 Billion in the United States alone. It’s ranked just underneath films such as The Return of the King and The Dark Knight in terms of total gross in the Americas.

And boy, did it deserve it. The film was given nearly unanimous praise from audiences and critics everywhere. Soon after, the film hit the #1 spot in Italy, Russia, the Philippines and the UK, and eventually grossed $1 Billion worldwide.

That’s not even close to the pre-Oscar buzz the film garnered. Rumors that Bobo would receive the first non-human win in history became universally accepted. There weren’t any doubts that the film wouldn’t win Best Director, Original Screenplay and Picture as well (seeing as American cinema has been exponentially declining since 2019 anyway, after the Directorial Debut of Adam Sandler). The buzz was all spot-on. Biopic earned an astounding 13 Nominations, including the implied Picture, Actor, Original Screenplay, Director, and surprising many when it received a Best Foreign Film nomination, breaking the then current conception that only films made outside the US could receive a nomination--when asked about the nomination, Sharp simply put it as “What the Academy doesn’t know can’t hurt them. We told them the film was shot in Canada just for another nomination.” Sharp was not penalized by the Academy of Motion Picture Sciences at all upon hearing the news (it seems you can’t just take an Oscar away from anybody).

When the 96th Annual Oscars rolled around (yep, the ones where Ricky Gervais hosted again for the fourth time in a row), Biopic didn’t disappoint. Winning 12 of the 13 Oscars it was nominated for, the film set yet another record, this time for Most Wins for a Single Film, finally 1-upping Titanic, Ben-Hur, and The Return of the King. Bobo the Chimp became the first non-human to win Best Actor, along with the various other chimps who won their respective awards for Directing, Screenwriting and the like. The only human actually attached the project was Sharp himself, who signed on as producer.

We’ve come a long way over the course of cinematic history. Now, we hand the reins over to the apes and hope for the best--something it seems only they can deliver.

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