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The Curious Question of Annoying Children

Yesterday, as I strolled down the dried foods aisle of a local supermarket, I heard a strange and frightening noise- the sound of a young child not getting his way. As I drew nearer, the shrieking intensified. Upon reaching the end of the aisle, I saw the reason for the commotion- a boy of about two or three years old had spotted a bin of chocolate candies and wanted a taste. His mother, instead of simply telling him no, had tried to reason with him.

I saw that things could not end well. The child, having wedged his feet under the lip of the shelf near the floor, showed no signs of letting go of the lid of the candy bin. The mother, who by now was nearly sitting on top of the lid, showed no signs of letting the child have his way. The air began to fill with the stench of sweat from the struggle. I turned away my head to continue my shopping.

“We can’t afford this candy right now,” I heard the mother say as I continued my search for dried pineapples. “Maybe I can get you something at the check out.”

She sounded absolutely exhausted. The grimace on the child’s face would have scarred a battle hardened soldier. Besides making my skin crawl, it told me that things would only get worse when they went home. My friends, is this the kind of world we want to live in? Bowing to the will of those that would annoy us to our deaths? I think not. Hence, I continue to advocate the implementation of the Annoyance Removal Agency (ARA), under the leadership of the illustrious and accredited Joshua McAwesome, to defend and protect our future from those who would mar it with further annoyance.
With all due respect and honesty,
Archibald Phineas Crane
Aristocrat,
Internet Blogger,
People Advocating Annoyance Reduction (PAAR)



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This article has 56 comments. Post your own!

Red546This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 7, 2013 at 3:24 pm:
Well done! You have read my mind, my friend. And my friends will kill me if they ever hear me say that. :)
 
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Neytiri said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm:
Oh my God!! This is so funny!!! YOu have such a good imagination!!! Well fricking done dude!!!!!!
 
Lord-Flavius-Jacobius-Ossummuss replied...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 5:17 pm :
Thanks.  Did I mention that it MUST  be read with a British aristocratic accent to get the full humor?
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 8:54 pm :
i can't do a British accent, but I got a lot of humor out of it anyway  :P
 
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Mrs.Darcy said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 5:04 pm:
HA! I love this!!!!
 
Lord-Flavius-Jacobius-Ossummuss replied...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 5:15 pm :
Thanks. :)
 
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Lord-Flavius-Jacobius-Ossummuss said...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 3:18 pm:
Wow, 500 views already. Still 5 stars, and still kind of gruesomely funny.
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 5:30 pm :
gruesomely.....I don't know if I would go straight to that.....but it is undeniably funny  :D
 
Lord-Flavius-Jacobius-Ossummuss replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm :

This is my second most popular piece, and it's only been up for 5 days...

Crazy, isn't it?

 

 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 5:40 pm :
just a little.  hey, can you talk?
 
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FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss said...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:51 am:
250 views already!  That was fast!  Anyways... Still a 5 star rating.  This is one of my most discussed pieces already, and it's only been about 3 days...
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:56 am :
....w.o.w.  xD  
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 2:47 pm :
Mhmm.  Pretty awesome...
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 2:52 pm :
submit something new so i have something new to comment on.....lol  I am getting overly bored, and you have experienced what that leads to.  ;)  that looks like an evil grin.....exactly what I needed!!!  =D
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:08 pm :
I'm about to submit a new song, will that do?
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:09 pm :
haha  okay  that'll do  :P
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 6:08 pm :
uhm...I thought you were submitting it.....  :-/  now I have nothing to do....oh, wait, Yes I do!!!  I will go kick my sister off the PS3 and play Call of Duty: Black Ops, which just happens to be on my library card  :D
 
Lord-Flavius-Jacobius-Ossummuss replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 11:52 am :
Yes, do that. It will be a while before it gets accepted, anyway.
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 11:54 am :
haha  I did  xD  and i finished one level, started another, then got kicked off for football, then this morning my bro was playing it, and I found out I had one tiny checkpoint left in that mission!!!  ahhh!!!
 
Lord-Flavius-Jacobius-Ossummuss replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 4:15 pm :
Ahahaha, wow, that fails.
 
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