They Never Knew | Teen Ink

They Never Knew

November 22, 2011
By Anonymous

She walked hom from school everyday. Alone, no one at her side, no one to dry her tears. Everyday she gets made fun of by her classmates for a number of things. When she arrives at her small, 2 bedroom apartment, no one is home. Her parents work until late at night.
She has no one to talk to about her feelings. She had one friend, her name was Lauren. Lauren moved across the country when they reached 8th grade. That was 2 years ago. The girl- her name is Caroline - and Lauren never kept contact. Caroline is alone now. At home she does everything on her own. When times get to be at their worst, she goes days without clean clothes or food to eat.
None of her school teachers have met her parents, they assume she has a normal home life. The students think she's a poor homeless girl and they make fun of her. The things they say hurt her. She has glasses, and braces, and she enjoys being intellegent. Her appearance is also judged.
She refuses to cry in school. She refuses to let it be known that her peers have ruined her life. They think she ignores the things they say. At home, however, she cries herself to sleep.
She dreams of ending her sad, sad life. Caroline is only a sophmore in high school. She knows she shouldn't want to die at such a young age. But it's the only way she knows how to permanently end the pain. She has scars covering her arms. Every night before she cries herself to sleep, she adds a new cut to her wrist. The blood flows on to her bed.
A few kids at school have seen the marks. They call her "emo" and "cutter". She wants to stop, but she doesn't know how to. She has tried to talk to her parents in the few minutes she sees them every morning, but they wouldn't understand.
Three months into her sophmore year, she decides to make a plan to end her life. She wrote a note to her parents telling them why she commit suicide. That entire day at school, she didn't care who saw. She cried and cried. She didn't wear her many bracelets to hide her scars. No one talked to her. No one cared. No one askd her what was wrong. One teacher tried to, she had said her grandmother died and left it at that. Her plan was to cut her wrists so bad that she bled to death. Along with that, she wanted to overdose on her mothers medication.
After walking home from school that day, she placed her note on her parent's bed, and locked herself in the bathroom. She took a blade to her wrist and began to cut. Every so often, she'd stop to take a few more pills. Within 90 minutes, she was dead. She laid on the floor in a puddle of her own blood, the razor blade at her side.

That night, when her parents arrived home, they read the note she had left them and looked for her.She wasn't in her bedroom. They noticed the closed bathroom door and broke it open. They found her body, and wept for hours before calling 9-1-1. When her school teachers found out, they had a school-wide assembly honoring her. The students who had bullied her for years couldn't help ut start to cry. They had finally realized what they had never known before. They had realized, that the things they did, caused her enough pain to end her life.


The author's comments:
Some of this story has some truth to it. Parts of it are from the lives of me and my friends. One of the schools in my district have this sort of situation happen quite often. The students causing people to commit suicide never realize the things they do wrong. I hope people who read this will view self-injury and bullying in a new way.

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