A Dead Girl's Eyes

November 4, 2011
By , New City, NY
The mirrors stretch across the entire length of my new walls. I had told my parents that I didn’t want them to redo my room—they already paid too much in my medical bills. I only wanted one thing, and that was to be left alone. That wasn’t going to happen now. In every direction, I saw a thousand pieces of me.
Surely there had to have been a mistake, maybe a trick of the nonexistent light. It couldn’t have been me, sitting alone in the darkness. I didn’t always used to look like this, I thought as I studied my reflections.
My blankets were pooled around at my ankles. I could never decide whether or not to pull them over me. I didn’t want to see my body, yet at the same time, I felt like I was hiding the truth if I couldn’t see myself.
Surely this isn’t me, I thought again, squinting in the dark room. The girl in the glass squinted back, a look of distaste and despair mixing itself on her face. She looks at my limbs, the spindly, starved attachments. My fingers, which used to play piano so well. Now, they would barely move unless I forced them to. She stared at my hair, which flowed past my ribcage for the sake of half covering it up. Then at my nightshirt, which was huge on me for a good reason.
Her eyes travel upwards, as do mine. They rest on each other’s lips. The lips that had previously made such a beautiful sound, though nothing went through them anymore except for the dry sound of thin breathing.
My eyes continue to travel upwards, but then look away in a flash. I don’t want to meet her eyes, nor she mine. The horrible mirrors, though, they won’t hear of such a thing. Everywhere I look, I’m met by their glances.
Be brave.
I steel myself to look up, and hold the gaze. And in hundreds of repeated reflections, I look into a dead girl’s eyes.
My eyes were close to the only thing that hadn’t been invaded by illness. The blue still stood out in a shocking contrast to my pale face. They were the color of the ocean, with sandy flecks and silvery streaks. However, they had fallen short. After the irises closed, tiny red lines fanned out in all directions. They shone in the face of death, hot wires that would practically define me. Or curse me.
“I am you,” The girl says, for the first time. She doesn’t have a great voice, but it was better than I would have expected by looking at her.
“You are me,” I mutter back. They look at me curiously, and I am slightly conscious of the fact that my surroundings are darkening.
“You should get to sleep,” one of the girls mutters. I know she’s right.
Because tomorrow, I’m going to have to wake up and pretend that I’m going to get better.

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This article has 36 comments. Post your own now!

NightGoddess17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 5, 2012 at 7:40 pm
this is very beautifully written!! fantastic job akane!!! ;0 i love this!!
Akane-Ree replied...
Jan. 5, 2012 at 7:44 pm
Thank you, nightgoddess/Sammy.
NightGoddess17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 3:22 pm
No problem akane/shauna :D let me know when u write more stuff!! :)
Katsa13 said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 10:44 pm
It's an amazing story. A very enjoyable read. There were some parts where the sentences didn't flow together as well as the rest of the story. Some sentences could have fit together better with different words. But other than that, it was a great story.
Akane-Ree replied...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 10:02 am
Thank you ^_^. That's some of the first critiques I've gotten, so you're being very helpful... do you have any particular sentences in mind that I could fix?
Katsa13 replied...
Dec. 19, 2011 at 10:42 pm
Well, when you said "My eyes were close to the only thing that hadn't been invaded by the illness," 1) You said eyes, then thing. That should've been plural, bubt that's just the grammar part. 2) It might've been better to say something like "My eyes were probably the only parts of me that were spared by the illness." Also, when you said the eyes fell short, I didn't really get what you meant by that. You might need to fix that so it's easier to understand.
Akane-Ree replied...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Okay. Thanks so much for the criticism, I'm going to go and fix it now. ^_^
Janeyy said...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Whoa... this is... intense. So powerful! So strong... WOW. 

LOVED it... 

No like seriously, I wish I could rate it 5 stars over and over again! This is seriously the most intense thing I have seen in a whiiile. Woow. 

Akane-Ree replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 9:34 pm
:D thanks! I'm always so glad when this sticks with someone..... because it's entirely fictional and it means that I must have done something right... XD
thalialisset said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:26 pm

loved it.....it was awesomee......nice description..:)


I.N.K said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:25 pm

this is great very emotional and i love ur writing


Kitty.Meow.Daly said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Very good, I loved the description :)
Come-n-Gone said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm

it's so strong and so emotional and you can feel the characters confusement. I love it!


Resonating_Words said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 7:16 pm
You're quite welcome -- thank you for posting it (:
Resonating_Words said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I like this, it really deserves being liked. Writing in first person can be detrimental to description, but yours only gave strength to your story. It was short, and yet complete. 

My favorite part is the interaction between herself and her reflection. It was powerful: awareness of a dire situation is sombering. Being disconnected from who she used to be, I myself connect with, so that gave more power to it.


I want to read more, but I don't want there to be mo... (more »)

Akane-Ree replied...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Wow, thanks for taking the article so seriously and analyzing it!!!! i'm really glad that you liked it! :D
Loki17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 7:40 pm
Haunting!  It's truly frightening how you described her talking to herself in the mirror.  Well done.
pencilchick said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 7:16 pm
very deep I believe that something traumatic must have happened
FlyingJay said...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 9:54 pm
This is good. I especialy like how she has to pretend things are getting better.
Akane-Ree replied...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 9:59 pm
Why thank you, flyjay! wait, you don't think they'll get better? pessimist.
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