A Dead Girl's Eyes

November 4, 2011
By Anonymous

The mirrors stretch across the entire length of my new walls. I had told my parents that I didn’t want them to redo my room—they already paid too much in my medical bills. I only wanted one thing, and that was to be left alone. That wasn’t going to happen now. In every direction, I saw a thousand pieces of me.
Surely there had to have been a mistake, maybe a trick of the nonexistent light. It couldn’t have been me, sitting alone in the darkness. I didn’t always used to look like this, I thought as I studied my reflections.
My blankets were pooled around at my ankles. I could never decide whether or not to pull them over me. I didn’t want to see my body, yet at the same time, I felt like I was hiding the truth if I couldn’t see myself.
Surely this isn’t me, I thought again, squinting in the dark room. The girl in the glass squinted back, a look of distaste and despair mixing itself on her face. She looks at my limbs, the spindly, starved attachments. My fingers, which used to play piano so well. Now, they would barely move unless I forced them to. She stared at my hair, which flowed past my ribcage for the sake of half covering it up. Then at my nightshirt, which was huge on me for a good reason.
Her eyes travel upwards, as do mine. They rest on each other’s lips. The lips that had previously made such a beautiful sound, though nothing went through them anymore except for the dry sound of thin breathing.
My eyes continue to travel upwards, but then look away in a flash. I don’t want to meet her eyes, nor she mine. The horrible mirrors, though, they won’t hear of such a thing. Everywhere I look, I’m met by their glances.
Be brave.
I steel myself to look up, and hold the gaze. And in hundreds of repeated reflections, I look into a dead girl’s eyes.
My eyes were close to the only thing that hadn’t been invaded by illness. The blue still stood out in a shocking contrast to my pale face. They were the color of the ocean, with sandy flecks and silvery streaks. However, they had fallen short. After the irises closed, tiny red lines fanned out in all directions. They shone in the face of death, hot wires that would practically define me. Or curse me.
“I am you,” The girl says, for the first time. She doesn’t have a great voice, but it was better than I would have expected by looking at her.
“You are me,” I mutter back. They look at me curiously, and I am slightly conscious of the fact that my surroundings are darkening.
“You should get to sleep,” one of the girls mutters. I know she’s right.
Because tomorrow, I’m going to have to wake up and pretend that I’m going to get better.


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This article has 36 comments.


on Jan. 6 2012 at 3:22 pm
NightGoddess17 PLATINUM, New City, New York
34 articles 0 photos 63 comments
No problem akane/shauna :D let me know when u write more stuff!! :)

on Jan. 5 2012 at 7:44 pm
Akane-Ree BRONZE, New City, New York
1 article 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"She\'s got it out for me BUT I WEAR THE BIGGEST SMILE"

Thank you, nightgoddess/Sammy.

on Jan. 5 2012 at 7:40 pm
NightGoddess17 PLATINUM, New City, New York
34 articles 0 photos 63 comments
this is very beautifully written!! fantastic job akane!!! ;0 i love this!!

on Dec. 20 2011 at 8:29 pm
Akane-Ree BRONZE, New City, New York
1 article 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"She\'s got it out for me BUT I WEAR THE BIGGEST SMILE"

Okay. Thanks so much for the criticism, I'm going to go and fix it now. ^_^

Katsa13 GOLD said...
on Dec. 19 2011 at 10:42 pm
Katsa13 GOLD, Axtell, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't make someone a priority if all you are to them is an option - Josh Shipp

Well, when you said "My eyes were close to the only thing that hadn't been invaded by the illness," 1) You said eyes, then thing. That should've been plural, bubt that's just the grammar part. 2) It might've been better to say something like "My eyes were probably the only parts of me that were spared by the illness." Also, when you said the eyes fell short, I didn't really get what you meant by that. You might need to fix that so it's easier to understand.

on Dec. 10 2011 at 10:02 am
Akane-Ree BRONZE, New City, New York
1 article 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"She\'s got it out for me BUT I WEAR THE BIGGEST SMILE"

Thank you ^_^. That's some of the first critiques I've gotten, so you're being very helpful... do you have any particular sentences in mind that I could fix?

Katsa13 GOLD said...
on Dec. 9 2011 at 10:44 pm
Katsa13 GOLD, Axtell, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't make someone a priority if all you are to them is an option - Josh Shipp

It's an amazing story. A very enjoyable read. There were some parts where the sentences didn't flow together as well as the rest of the story. Some sentences could have fit together better with different words. But other than that, it was a great story.

on Dec. 5 2011 at 9:34 pm
Akane-Ree BRONZE, New City, New York
1 article 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"She\'s got it out for me BUT I WEAR THE BIGGEST SMILE"

:D thanks! I'm always so glad when this sticks with someone..... because it's entirely fictional and it means that I must have done something right... XD

Janeyy BRONZE said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 8:55 pm
Janeyy BRONZE, Vancouver, Other
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams\" <3

Whoa... this is... intense. So powerful! So strong... WOW. 

LOVED it... 

No like seriously, I wish I could rate it 5 stars over and over again! This is seriously the most intense thing I have seen in a whiiile. Woow. 


on Dec. 3 2011 at 12:26 pm
thalialisset SILVER, Jamaica, New York
8 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't Judge Its Book By It's Cover

loved it.....it was awesomee......nice description..:)

 


I.N.K said...
on Dec. 3 2011 at 12:25 pm
I.N.K, Hoover, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"never confuse what is impossible with what hasn't been done yet"






















-Ryan Doyle

this is great very emotional and i love ur writing

 


on Dec. 3 2011 at 12:25 pm
Kitty.Meow.Daly SILVER, Clarksville, Tennessee
9 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once." - Spakespeare
Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something ~Wesley
Dare to move~ A Walk to Remember

Very good, I loved the description :)

on Nov. 30 2011 at 7:17 pm
Come-n-Gone GOLD, Unionville, Missouri
10 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isn't it funny how it only takes a few seconds to say hi, but forever to say goodbye?

it's so strong and so emotional and you can feel the characters confusement. I love it!

 


on Nov. 30 2011 at 7:16 pm
Resonating_Words SILVER, Dallas, Texas
5 articles 10 photos 87 comments
You're quite welcome -- thank you for posting it (:

on Nov. 28 2011 at 8:03 pm
Akane-Ree BRONZE, New City, New York
1 article 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"She\'s got it out for me BUT I WEAR THE BIGGEST SMILE"

Wow, thanks for taking the article so seriously and analyzing it!!!! i'm really glad that you liked it! :D

on Nov. 28 2011 at 7:44 pm
Resonating_Words SILVER, Dallas, Texas
5 articles 10 photos 87 comments

I like this, it really deserves being liked. Writing in first person can be detrimental to description, but yours only gave strength to your story. It was short, and yet complete. 

My favorite part is the interaction between herself and her reflection. It was powerful: awareness of a dire situation is sombering. Being disconnected from who she used to be, I myself connect with, so that gave more power to it.

 

I want to read more, but I don't want there to be more. Because if you have more, it loses some strength. Whether intentional or not, well done with the editing of your length.

 

I feel like this could be even stronger were some of your prose more pointed, don't ask for specifics, it was just a general feeling. I didn't get a vibe of hopelessness or desperation, but yet that's what she feels according to some sentences. So the overall air of it could be improved.

 

That, however, is me nit-picking a truly good piece of writing. Because you have to have somewhere to improve XD


on Nov. 28 2011 at 7:40 pm
Prometheus PLATINUM, East Aurora, New York
29 articles 0 photos 109 comments
Haunting!  It's truly frightening how you described her talking to herself in the mirror.  Well done.

on Nov. 28 2011 at 7:16 pm
pencilchick GOLD, San Jose, California
14 articles 1 photo 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
The sleep of reason produces monsters -fransisco goya

very deep I believe that something traumatic must have happened

on Nov. 25 2011 at 10:24 pm
Akane-Ree BRONZE, New City, New York
1 article 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"She\'s got it out for me BUT I WEAR THE BIGGEST SMILE"

You have a bad attitude. Her reflections might keep her alive. Or, like, she... idk. starts to see a doctor? therapy? why no happy ending? BELIEVE IN HER FLYINGJAY!!!

on Nov. 25 2011 at 10:14 pm
SophiaWood GOLD, New City, New York
18 articles 0 photos 15 comments
Oh no, they're doomed. She's a gonner already.




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