tHiN aNd UnKnOwInG

By , Orange County, CA
I all started on July 30th 2011. My aunt took me to Wet N' Wild as a good-bye surprise. It was so much fun the rides where the best ever.

When we went into the lazy river my aunt and I where having so much fun. Well she was anyway. My mind was on something else in the lazy river. A girl about my age was spending some time with her mom, but it wasn't how close her and her mother where that caught my attention. It was how thin she was. She looked like she was maybe 80 pounds. At that very moment I couldn't stop looking at her. Something inside me snapped and from that moment forward I was determined to become that skinny. When I asked my aunt if I was as skinny as that girl she said "No way that girl is too skinny Victoria."
"You would have to stop eating for 2 months to weigh as much as her."
When those words came out of her mouth I became even more determined to get that thin. So the next day I skipped snacks. Then when I came home I started to stop eating all together. Some times I couldn't because my mom was watching too closely so I would eat just enough to please her.
One day when we where at a Del Taco she asked if I wanted anything but I said no. She jumped out and said that I needed to eat something or she would send me to a clinic. Well the thought of IVs in my arm makes me freak out. So I ate a burrito and felt like a fat pig the rest of the day.
When I got into 7th grade I had already made a plan about what my eating habits would be. I had decided to eat very very little in the morning, nothing in the afternoon and very little at night. Soon the feeling of hunger became addicting and and big problem.
One day I told one of my friends that I want to be thinner. She told me I was thin enough but I denied it. Ever since then she bugged me about how much I was eating every day.
In 7th period a note was given to the teacher. She said my name and I looked up immediately. She told me that they needed me in the office but she stopped talking when she was about to say what for. When I looked a the note I understood why she didn't say it out loud. I was needed in the therapist's office and so my teacher didn't want me to be embarrassed.

At first I thought that maybe she wanted to know why I have seen a therapist at my last school. Wrong. She welcomed me into her office after seeing me look very confused wondering where this office was. She let me have a seat and asked if I knew why I was there. At that very moment I knew exactly why I was there. So I said yes. She then asked to first tell a little about me and my life history. I gave her a run down of the simple stuff I have been through. Then she asked about me history with this "food problem" and I told her every thing I just told you. When I told her that when I look in the mirror and see a girl who could lose 5 or 10 pounds she got alarmed but she was trying to hide it from me. When I was done telling her everything she said something that made my heart drop. I had early signs anorexia. I wanted to go in to a cave and never come out. I don't want this terrible thing I just want to be thin! although I know that if I don't stop doing this I will die, but the hard part about it was telling my mom that I have keeping a secret from her for 3 months. Luckily I have a loving and caring mom that will love me no mater what. When this all started I weighed 110 now I weigh 103 and still dropping. So on September 13th I begin the road to recovery.





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