United Under Cruelty

The slivers of autumn, formally known as helicopter seeds, fell adrift in the more commonly pending, frigid winds. They danced through the air without a care in the world while two siblings of an adolescent age were inside the temperate house they called their home. It was as gray outside as any day could get. No sun was seen through the intensity of the titanic storm clouds that gave no warning to the soon to descend rain.
“Stuff me with filling, Liz.”
“Now why on Earth would I do such a ridiculous command, Jonathan?”
“Because I feel like one of your old voodoo dolls that just lay around all day.”
“I beg to differ you annoying crab. They were my tea set dolls, and they have absolutely nothing to do with magic or voodoo.” Although in her mind, she had the sense to giggle at the thought of causing him pain with a doll and a needle.
“I’ll ignore the crustacean comment just to point out that you actually begged. I am certainly not acting like a shrew like you seem to be.” The two of them, not even one year apart in age, had it out for each other since day one. When Jonathan was born, the first thing he did when his family got home was to regurgitate onto his one year old sister’s brand new princess dress. The tears in her eyes even got a chuckle from the newborn.
From then on it was war. I throw water balloons at you, and you throw cake at me. It was the same story for almost thirteen years until this dreary day when fate was tired of sitting on the bench and decided to stand up so that it could tackle the two of them at once. Apparently Mother Nature wasn’t on fate’s side in this game because with a loud cackle and a lash of her whip, the sky lit up in an alliteration of lightning.
“It’s the final day of summer break, and I can’t believe I’m going to have to spend it inside with you,” shouted Jonathan vigorously.
“The feeling’s mutual among siblings, I guess, because I was about to say the same thing to you,” retorted Liz with great displeasure. “Of all the disservices the world could cause me, spending my day with you is the most devilish sham that anyone could come up with!”
“The feeling’s mutual,” commented Jonathan with great discretion. It seemed that he was extremely motivated to step out of his sister’s range so that he wouldn’t encounter the justifying slap that would come his way any second.
“Oh my…”
“Hey, you cannot say that in front of me. I am an agnostic of some Christian beliefs.” Jonathan interrupted with the utmost abruptness.
“First off, no you are not.”
“I know, I just wanted to see the gleam that comes to your eyes when a contradiction is in order, Elizabeth,” said Jonathan with the widest smile on his face. Not even the best of artisans could capture such a phenomenal image in even the loveliest masterpiece.
“Okay, well ignorance is only one of the many steps you have taken to your rightful place in a iron grave.” Liz loved to tease Jonathan with her fantasies of how personalities can catch up with a person’s life. “Second off, did you see that animal in the yard. It looked like a dog with no collar.”
“Well at least we know it’s not L-.” At that moment he turned his head to see the blue coon dog pacing out in the yard. “Leo is in the yard! Turn around!”
“How did he get out? He is only three months old!” Liz shrieked at the top of her lungs. The two of them lunged for the door handle. They ran outside and started to call for Leo to enter the house. The pouring rain only made matters worse. Liz’s face was smeared with black eye shadow. To no avail, the two who were so eager to deny their friendly companion freedom, started toward the ludicrous infuriation they had for a pet.
Every time they took a step closer, Leo seemed to dismiss their attempts as a game for him to win. He ran through the woods behind his backyard until a little furry rodent stood out because of the long white stripe down its back.
Jonathan got close enough to see only that it was too late for Leo to move. “There’s a skunk in front of him!” he shouted in horror. “I heard that if dogs get sprayed by skunks they go blind!”
“That is purely a myth told to you by one of your friends! Isn’t it?” Liz asked as she reached him. “We have to save him.”
“Well I’m certainly not the one who is going to get sprayed.”
“Man up you wimp! I know what we have to do.” Suddenly the two black eyes found themselves staring toward them. Liz then stated, “Go to the left and jump in front of Leo when I say.”
“You are as fanatical as our dog,” Jonathan said.
“Well at least I don’t think that the dog will go blind,” Liz whispered. As the two of them babbled on, they both realized that their whole conversation was merely a distraction for the skunk to follow. With every word the brute snaked back and forth positioning his tail at the two of them.
Finally, with two large gasps for air, Jonathan and Liz jumped in front of the most depraved smell that ever crossed their nostrils. When he pulled the trigger on his tail, the entire world left its eyes and turned into a large green gust of smoke. Leo, on the other hand, was so disgusted with the smell, which hadn’t touched him, that he ran all the way to the house and stayed inside until Liz and Jonathan’s arrival.
“I’m glad we ultimately did something together for the greater good of dogkind,” acknowledged Liz with great discomfort. “Thank Mom for buying all this tomato soup yesterday. Otherwise, we would reek like week old salmon.”
“The tomato soup won’t help you with that.” Jonathan chuckled. Leo impulsively jumped straight into their red goblet of stench.
“This was the perfect way to end the year with you.” Liz said without sarcasm for the first time this entire summer.
“The feeling’s mutual.”





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Norma-Bernard said...
Sept. 27, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Hahahaha this is cuteeee :) Reminds me of 2 people we both know. Hmmmmm........
 
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