Pushed Over The Edge

The world seemed to glisten as she pondered her next move atop her sixth floor balcony. At her command her foot could step over the edge, ending her sorrow forever. With just that one step, she would never have to deal with what lies ahead in the days to come.
She dangled her foot over the edge. What’s to stop her? Her parents? Their fury left marks both on her skin and beneath. And did they care? No, and they never had.
Well what about her friends? Friends? Ha! You mean the ones that had exiled her because of her refusal to dress and act as they thought she should? For that, they had turned their back on her long ago. She had no desire to be like them. So she wasn’t.
She had no future ahead of her. This immanent death was the future she sought. She was talentless. Useless. Purely a freak. That’s all that she would ever be.
No one would ever get who she was. No one would ever truly know her. No one could know that her legs bear scars where her blade had bitten into her pale white skin, or the one on her back where her father’s blade had. Or that she cries herself to sleep every night, praying to God that things would change. No one could know that she is quiet lest her thoughts escape or take over and she’d do something drastic. Or that faces appear out of the darkness, whispering evil things to her.
A gust of wind whipped her pale blonde hair around her face, stinging her wherever it hit. She was pushed forward from behind, and she let herself go. She was ready for this. The fall would be like flying. She began falling into herself. She truly didn’t want to be here ever again.
A small hand grabbed hers from behind, pulling her back to reality. “Sammy?” Lilly whispered almost silently.

Lilly. How could she have forgotten her? What kind of sister was she? Suddenly Lilly was the only thing on her mind. She could always learn to forget. A little girl could live without her sister couldn’t she? A fifteen-year-old couldn’t possibly have that much influence, could she?


She couldn’t couldn’t leave Lilly behind. But she couldn’t stay here any longer. But she couldn’t do anything about it now, not with Lilly here. “Why are you up sweetie?”

Lilly looked away as if she had done something wrong. “I can’t go to sleep.” Her lower lip quivered. “You didn’t tuck me in.”

She looked down at Lilly, and realized she was crying. Not Lilly, but her. Did Lilly know what was going on? Why she was up there?

Lilly was smart. Maybe that was why she had always been their favorite. Although that was the case, she was still subjected to the yelling and the violence.
Sam had always been her savior, always protecting her from their drunken fists.
She put her foot back on the ledge. No. She would not let Lilly go through this life alone. She would not let Lilly turn out like she had. On the ledge.
Five-year-old Lilly, who still had troubles tying her own shoes. Lilly, who just started kindergarten. Lilly, who was so proud of her PowerPuff Girl backpack they’d had to go to four different stores just to find. Lilly, her whole world.

She got down off the ledge, sweeping Lilly into her arms. “Lilly, I’m so sorry.”

“I love you, Sammy” Lilly said, tears cascading down her face.

“Shh, Baby Girl, it’ll all be okay.” She comforted her, stroking her hair.

“Why were you up there? You almost fell.”

“Nothin’, Lilly.” Sam kissed her forehead, walking towards their room. “Don’t you worry about it.”

Lilly, she thought, who was worth every bruise.





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