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fearful wants

I know the people are mean and nice. But why should i trust that they are nice, but why do i fear that they are mean. Every time i try to come out of my shell am left vulnerable and it is sometimes nice. But then someone i think is my friend calls me insane and a freak. And they push me back into my shell,and ask why i never tell them anything about myself. I wounder if i will ever be able to come out of my shell permanently. But i fear i won' t be able to, so for now i will stay in it. Until i feel safe to come back out. Only to retreat again.

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