He’s been oddly quiet tonight.
Maybe he understands how important the news I have to give him today is? I love him so, but why is he so quiet? His food looks good. That’s it! He’s probably just hungry. I try to take his hand, and as if he is repulsed by my touch, he pulls away from me and retreats both hands into his lap. I’m hurt, but I decide to shake it off because today is too important, and to great, to let anything bother me. I open my mouth to speak-
“I have to say something.” He breaks in before me.
“Oh, well, that’s great, but I kind of have to tell you something kind of impor-”
“NO. I have to say this first but I’m really not sure how…” He looks up at me and I notice tears in his eyes. My heart flips. I feel the air around us changing. It feels like there is a sudden chill in it. I have the feeling something important is going to change. I look in his eyes and remember the first time we were here. Our first date, I fell in love with him then. I think it was the eyes. Those deep, deep brown eyes. It kills me that I can’t read what they are saying now.
“Emily, I… I don’t love you anymore.”
My heart comes crashing down. The words don’t compute immediately and I know I must have a stupid look on my face. I sit across from the man I thought I was enjoying a happy marriage with. I stare blankly. I open my mouth hoping something can be found but words seem to have escaped me. What language do I speak again?
“It’s just… I can’t sit here any longer and look in your pretty face and let you live in a loveless marriage… I just can’t.”
That’s right… English.
“But, I love you.” I say this with a bit of question. He looks a way towards the people around us. No, more like... away from me.
“Well… that’s one of us.” He must see the horror on my face with these words because he tries to fix it quickly. “I’m sorry I didn’t quite mean it like that. I really didn’t, Emily. It’s just… I fell for someone else.”
He would make this worse. This excuse for a man would make this worse. My confusion is starting to slip away into anger and understanding.
“Who?” I say with a tone.
He looks shocked, almost surprised at my strength. Surprised I have strength. “She works with me. I haven’t done anything with her but… I want to. It’s just I saw her… and she’s just the one. Do you know that feeling I’m talking about?”
It’s like he’s forgetting we are married. “I thought I did.” I say as I look in his eyes again. It unnerves him and his glances away.
“I’m sorry Emily.”
“No you aren’t… You just aren’t.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Then got up and left.
“Wait!” I call.
He doesn’t turn around. He walks away because he can’t face my broken heart anymore. I retreat within myself by looking at my stomach with my hands in my lap, and whisper-
“I’m pregnant.”