My papa

June 27, 2011
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I held his hand; I could feel the sweats of his palms touch against mine. I was terrified
I watched the door as I was hiding in a small corner in my room. The door flew open, he came in grabbed me and threw me to the side of the room, I banged my head against the wall I was barely conscious, but conscious enough to see him murder my father. He took the gun and shot him five times in the chest, laying their incapable to do anything, I felt so useless.
I awoke in a small room in the hospital, the sun was shining and my mother was beside me crying. She awoke to see my face and began to kiss me and hold me tightly to her chest. I saw my brothers and sisters crying, mourning the death of my father. I knew things were never going to be the same now.
I was released from the hospital, when I reached home I ran straight into my room. I sat against the wall where me and my father were hiding and cried, I cried till my body had no water left in it. My sister came into the room, "Did he do good" she asked.
"What do you mean did he do good?" I replied.
"Did papa do good enough to be sent to heaven?"
"Of course he did! Don’t you ever say papa wasn’t good enough!" and I slammed the door.
I laid in my bed, just thinking why would my sister not think our father didn't do good, he was good I kept telling myself.
The next morning, I had no intention to go to school but I couldn’t stay home either. I decided to go to the lake, papa's favorite place. I just sat there, with the cold breeze hitting against my bare skin and putting my feet in the ice cold water. February was the month of love, Papa would always bring mama here on Valentine's Day but Mama wasn't going this year.
It was almost night I made my way back home, and Mama had some unfortunate news for me.
"We're moving Anna"
"But why?!"
"We can't afford this place anymore with your father gone, were moving somewhere much smaller, hurry up and pack your things we have to leave today"
"I'll find a job, Andrew will find a job, please can’t we just stay"
"No Anna, the landlord said to leave before he comes, now let’s go!"
We left the only house which contained my papa's memories. I had nothing left of him now.
The house we bought was much smaller, only 3 bedrooms, me and sister shared while my brothers shared a room, mama got her own.
Three weeks had passed since papa's death; it seemed as if everyone had moved on besides me. I felt betrayed by family, to know that they accepted and moved on from papa's death. Mama even stopped bringing him up in daily conversations.
I couldn’t help but hate my family, I despised their faces, I hated coming home, and sometimes I wouldn’t even come. I preferred the cold stone pavement of the streets than a bed where my papa was not there to comfort or kiss me good night.
"Anna, where have you been?" my mother questioned me.
"None of your business" I answered
"I am your mother Anna! You can't just go out and not come home until the next morning"
"If I had choice I wouldn’t come home at all"
"Anna I know you’re sad about your father's death, I am too but you have to move on we're all trying to move on we need you right now"
"You guys aren’t trying, you already have, how could you forget papa, how could you forget all the sacrifices he made and Alisha, how could you say papa didn’t do good enough to be sent to heaven, he provided us with food, shelter he kept us safe, he did the best he good, papa was the best, you all forgot him so fast but I didn’t"
I could feel my face turning red and the tears rolling down my cheeks, I ran out the apartment and ran to the roof.
I cared for papa, and I couldn’t live a life without him
"I am coming papa"
I took the jump, but a man saw me jumping and caught him when I fell. He took me back upstairs and back to Mama she yelled at me and told me she loved me, but I was still too angry at her to acknowledge her love and care.
I ran to my room still crying and red.
"Papa's in heaven now, Anna" said Alisha.
"Why are you saying that now?"
"He saved you Anna, that man, that was papa in disguise he wanted you to live your life, so he came to save you from ending it"
Papa had come from heaven to tell me to move on he was my angel in disguise. He didn’t go to heaven yet, because he had to save me one last time before he could join god and watch over me.
I moved on with life so did my family, but Papa was always there watching over us.

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