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Johnny's Magic Potion
He tried to make himself invisible by creating a “magic” potion. There was no doubt in my mind that this was not going to work. Johnny always tried something like this when I came over to babysit, and every time he failed. Johnny had tried everything from flying to turning himself into a dog. Needless to say, this made babysitting quite an adventure. Today was no exception and Johnny worked furiously trying to get his concoction just right. Some of the things he used were a repepperizer, which in other words was pepper that he had mixed with sugar and salt. As he worked, he kept going on and on about what a superb supresent this would be for his parents. Supresent was just another word from the Jictionary. The Jictionary is what Johnny calls an old green notebook, which he has filled up with words he has made up by combining other words. For example supresent, was a surprise and a present all in one.
I lived just down the street from Johnny and had to babysit him almost every week. He was pretty small for an eight year old, with wavy light brown hair that his mom let him keep long so it almost covered his bright blue eyes. Johnny was a nice kid and I did not mind babysitting until he started making a mess. The problem was whenever Johnny tried to turn himself into a dog or make himself fly it always ended in a huge disaster. This meant that I had to get the kitchen and him clean before his parents got home. As you can see after about babysitting a good eight times and every time having to clean up some kind of mess Johnny was not my favorite person.
Today I was determined not to let this little boy keep wasting his parent’s food by mixing it together and then somehow managing to make a huge mess that I would have to clean up. “You know this isn’t going to work,” I said in a matter of fact tone. “I mean it never has before so why do you think it will this time.”
He glowered at me and replied, “Because, this time I know the secret ingredient.” After this comment, I knew it was time to start lying.
“You know”, I began “Pepper can kill you if you mix it with too much cinnamon,” which was exactly what he was doing now.
“Oh shut up will you,” he said in an annoyed tone, “Your just jealrious.” Great I thought more words from the Jictionary.
“No, it’s true! Just being in the room with the stuff will give you a fever,” I said with a concerned tone.
“I thought 15 year olds were supposed to be smart,” he mumbled with a roll of his eyes and continued stirring. The hour and a half that followed went the same way. Me lying about how some harmless food could kill you and him rationalizing it with something “mommy” had told him about the food or how he thought I felt jealous and curious all at the same time.
I could only take so much of Jonny at once and the “magic potion” with his stupid language was beginning to send me over the edge. I decided I would just leave him alone and let him find out for himself that his magic potion was not going to work, while I prayed that there would only be a minor mess to clean up. Before going to watch TV, I gave him one last glance and saw him stirring a concoction of chicken noodle soup and refried beans vigorously. His long wavy light brown hair had fallen over his bright blue eyes, which stared intently at what he called “unicorn juice.” I didn’t get halfway though Wizards of Waverly Place before I heard a giant crash and an eight year old boy scream very similarly to a six year old girl. “Please let this be a small spill,” I thought as I entered the room.
A dark mustard yellow mixture of chicken noodle soup and refried beans ran down the side of the stainless steel stove and all over the hard wood floor, something thick, chunky and purple had been splattered all over the microwave. After looking the mess up and down I realized that the little boy who had made this mess was nowhere to be found. For I moment I wandered if he might have succeeded, but I quickly shot down the idea. “He had to be around here somewhere,” I told myself “no one just disappears.” I checked the rest of the kitchen and the rest of the downstairs. When I still could not find him, I began to panic. “What if he really did succeed?” I thought. After quickly checking upstairs and calling his name several times, I was ready to call his parents. Just before I pressed the call button on my phone, Johnny walks into the kitchen.
Well it turns out Johnny had gone outside to go wash of the purple gunk he had all over him with the hose. Now that I knew Johnny was safe and still visible, I went into the kitchen to assess the damage “Aw, shizzle!” he cried, as we both surveyed the disaster. Shizzle was one of Johnny’s fake cuss words, which he had made up after getting in trouble for using the real thing in school. His theory was since it was not literally a cuss word he could not get in trouble for it. As I looked over the mess, again I almost used one of the words Johnny had gotten in trouble for in school. Now, the real battle began.
“Johnny why don’t you go take a shower.” I suggested, making sure I contained my anger by using a syrupy sweet tone.
“But I don’t want to” he whined. “I like the feel of purple cream jelly” I could feel my face flush red with anger. I really did not feel like yelling tonight.
“Johnny, go take a shower!” I said in an exasperated tone.
“No!” he yelled, “and you can’t make me cause you’re not my mommy!” That was it; I could not take it any longer.
“Johnny” I said my voice teaming with pure fury. I spoke with a menacing voice that would have scared any kid under the age of ten. “Johnny, do you see this mess?” I spat gesturing to the toxic waste behind me, “You have gotten your mommy’s kitchen very dirty and I don’t think she would like it if she came home to a dirty kitchen and a dirty son.” He let the words sink in for a moment, then with a look of defeat, he walked up the stairs to the bathroom making sure he showed his distaste by stomping his feet the entire way. I turned around and began the adventure of cleaning up yet another one of Johnny’s “magic potions”. I am usually against Johnny’s little experiments, but maybe making himself invisible would not have been such a bad thing.