does art still save? | Teen Ink

does art still save?

March 12, 2011
By jcampgirl PLATINUM, New Caney, Texas
jcampgirl PLATINUM, New Caney, Texas
34 articles 1 photo 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
when you lie to someone you tell them thay are not worth the truth

She was laying her bed. Or shod I say hospittle bed, though it had been the only bed she known for almost 14 months now. She was sick, varry sick. Infact she was not just shick - she was dieing. She opend her eyes slowly. The tape that was holding her IV in was making her arm itch. She was afrade to lift her head off the pillow, knowing what she whod find. Thare whod lay, some more of her once long brown hair. But now it was choped short, with a bald spot from the surgery. But each moreing like some time of sick joke she whod find more of her hair on the pillow. She scraped it in her hands. This act used to make her cry, espeshly the first fue time. Because it hand not been real to her hart before she saw two huge handfulls of her hair on the pillow that first week after cemo. She looked in the trach been. Thare was piles of papper she had trown away. Sence she cod no longer hold her hand stedy enof to draw. One of the few things she loved in life. Along with wirghting, good thing she had a laptop and still cod enjoy that. She aked every ware. She clicked the pain med button one time. She did not want to be out of it when her frind was comeing ot see her. Katie her best frind visited her 3 times a week, and this time she said she was bringing a specal someone with her. Amber stretched. And clicked the nerce button, she was spost to tell them when she wanted to take a shower. She cod not even do that now adays. She was in the last stages, and whod inturn die soon. She had 9 more months -‘at best’ the docter told her. She was only 20. But she had know she whod not live long when she was 18.

It had been almost two years ago. She had been living with mild headakes for weeks now. And her hand was starting to shake. Her art techer. Mr Web had asked her what was going on. She said nothing. The head akes grauly got worce and worce. Then it got to the point she cod nolong read her own hand wrighting. One day whale practicing for a up coming play the school was having, she blacked out. But only for a few seconts. Thes black outs became more and more comen. And 8months later she was fighting for her life. A freshmen in colage, who belved art cod cage the world. But now, she was almost incapable of crating art. Just her random thouts that went onto her laptop. She just hoped someone whod find it someday. That someone out thare whod get to read her work. The last peaces of work from the dieing girl. The girl who wanted to cang the worl with the hope art gave. She still tried to draw, but it only looked like scribles. And it only made her mad.

Amber shook herself back to the present. Her frind whod be hear in 20 minits. The nerce came in and gave her a spunge bath. The water was cold. But she was used to it now, she was always cold. The nerce let her slip a tshert on over her hospitle goune. Amber smothed her hair back. And grbed her laptop. She still had enof time to start a poem till her friend showed up.

Does art still save?

I used to belve
That art saves
From stress
And meny other
Factors of life
I am in fact
A artest
So its only natral
For me to beleve this

I am a poet
I draw
I ink
And somehow
I have to
belve that
It means something

But now my words
sler when I talk
And my hand shakes when I draw.

As she was tyiping out the last line her frind walked in. Amber closed her laptop, and put it in its bag. Katie looked back, waveing someone forward. And when thay walked into the door way, she gasped. It was her old frind lexi. Her lexi that she had a fight with 4 months before she found out she was sick. That had not talked to echo her sence. She cod tell Lexi was uncutable. But it soon faded. Thay were all talking and having fun. Lexi was grabing something out of her bag. And handed her a scrap book. Thare was a blank space on the cover. And it said friends in fancy righting on the corrner. Ambers eyes started to water. “just one more thing.” she lened in with a camra and took a pic of both of them. Her camra spat it out and she slid it in the blank space in the cover. Ambers tears came frely now. “th-thank yu- you soo - m-much” she tried to fous when she said it but it was hard. She new the end was comeing soon. But she whod not let it ruin the time she had with her old friends. Thay stayed for about one more hour then had to leave. “you come back next time to ya hear.” Amber said shouting to lexi. But as she said it she felt God tell her, though not with a audible voice but a wisper in her sole. That thare whod infact, be no next time.

Her parints had called. Thay where comeing to visist her tonight. From Huston. Thay asked her if she needed anything. “ya I cod use about 20 thum drives and a red and blue sharpy. Good thum drives though at lest 2 giga bites. You can take the cost out of my avout.” “20 thum drives um ok?” she herd the question in her mothers voice. “it’s a surprise.” not that Amber liked suprises. “ok” her mothers voice brigtend. “ill see you in about a hour.” “sounds good mom!” Amber said happly.

Her parints came and visited her for a long time. Thay gave her the thumdrives and sharpies. And she rote them a check for the cost. Thay did not want to take it. Infact she had to slip it in her mothers purse without her noticing.

After thay left she got hard to work. First she finished does art still save. Then got to work putting all her pomes and storys, onto the tum drives. First she got the ones that where for surtin pepol on the thum drives. Then wront thare names on it. Then loded the ones that was for everyone, or no one unparticular. Bye the time she was done, she had room for 2 more douments on each thum drive. Her will and one poem. She knew esakly wich one. A poem that wood prove to be her last.

Does art still save?

I used to belve
That art saves
From stress,
And meny other,
Factors of life ,
I am in fact
A artest
So its only natral,
For me to beleve this

I am a poet,
I draw,
I ink,
And somehow
I have to
belve that
It means something,

But now my words,
sler when I talk
And my hand shakes
when I draw
Im slowly dieing,
But I know what comes next.

But My question remains,
Does art still save?

When my brain,
finaly kills me,
Will art save me?
Will it save who I was?
And who I am?
Will anyone remember me?
The 20 year old
Art major.

What was my life worth?
Working for art and for God.

My question remains
does art still save?

She cod feel her fate rapitly aproching. She took out her faithfull laptop once more to wright her will.
My will

Thare are 20 thum drives each with a name one themm thay go to the persons name is on
Them. I wod like my old skech book, note books and laptop to be able for anyone to see who wishes to know who I was more.

I want to leave my Furncher to my parints.

My box of photots. I want the pics to go to the ones in the picher with me. And the ones that are just me to be distributed threwout my loved ones.

My new scrapbook, I wod like to be burryed with.

Please imform Mr.web of my passing and give him his thum drive.

With the mony I have in my saveings and in my bank acount. I want the 2o pepol who reseved thum drives too get a KJV bible. Then 25% of what is left to go to my old high school for thare art program. Then the rest I whod like to go to the missens feld.

She copyed this to her parints thumdrives and put a short cut to it on her desktop. She rote a not that said “open at the laptop” and put it on the table beside her. And put her laptop away. She grabed her scrapbook and held it close. Drifting off to sleep.

The nerces found her the next morning. Still clinging to her scrap book. Thay found her will, and the tumb drives. Thay were passed out as instructied. And her will folowed. The funral was held two days later.

It had been a year. Lexi had yet to be able to open the files on the tumb drive. But she was dertrmed to today. She pluged it into her computer. The file poped up. Thare were a tun of files on it. She clicked on the first one.


Forgivness his hard.
It allways has been for me
Me and lex had a fight
And now im dieing
If only I had the chance
The chance to tell her
It dosent mater
I don’t care
I want her back
To tell her I forgive her

Lexis eyes started to water. This is what she left for her. Forgivness. Now if only she could forgive herself. She clicked on one that was dated a few days after the fight


Her name is Lexi
But you know that God
She was my best friend
You know that to
We had a fight
A bigger fight then
We Ever had
But you where there
Standing next to me
I need her God
Or do I?
I want her God
I want to see her
Standing next to me
In your church
But you want that more then I do
I don’t want to miss her
I don’t want to fell like this
I don’t want the ake in my chest
God can you help me
Or are you even there
Can you even hear my soft cry’s anymore
The crys no one elce can hear
I know it sheer doest fell like it
I fell alone
I know Im not alone
But that’s what I fell like
And its hard
I need your power
So please help me God
And help my friend to
Help her see
Your almighty power
Your grace
And your love
Help us God
To be sisters
In your eternal kingdom

She was shoked how this poem was more then that, like she was talking to God with her righting. She read it threw one more time. She was shoked that she had done this, given her something so personal. Something someone elce my never have seen before. That was something elce she had left her. Her prayers. The next one she clicked on simply said to lexi.

Dear lexi.

If you are reading this, the cansor has spreed, and im no longer in this world anymore. I want you to know I never stoped thinking about you. And that I allways did, and allways will love you. You were my best frind for a long time. And in deth I still consider you one of the best friends I ever had. We went threw so much together. And though my faith tore us apart. I belve it will bring us back together agin. Im shure you have not opend the bible I had given you, I whod like you to do so now.

Lexi stoped reading and went to her book shelf, ware she had a pic of her and Amber smiling next to echo her, then on the onther side the had the phototo from the hospitle. And in the middle was the bibble she had given her. She reached up and grabed it. And wallked back to the computer. And started reading agin.

Now lexi I want you to open it and flip to the book of Jhon and chapeter 15 verce 13

It took lexi a minit and she found it it read ‘no grater love then this that a man give his life for his frind’ she went back to reading the letter

But see lexi hear the thing. Jesus died for us whale we were yet his enmy. He died for the untier world. All though he knew the entier world whod not esept him or his gift of love. Lexi cant you see it? Jesus died for us when he KNEW we where going to spit in his face. When he KNEW that some of us whod only reject him. But he died on the cross so we COULD have a chase. Because we will never EVER be good enof for God.
The bible says all our good deads are as filty rags to God. And its true. No matter how good of a person we are without God. We will never be good enof to go to heven without him, without jesus dieing on the cross so we could be forgiven of our sisns.
Now lexi only if you are realy truly ready to comit yourself to God. Holy and comply to him. Do I want you to read the last part of this letter. Because it’s the prayer and when you read it I want you to be praying with me, like I was when I wrote this.

Lexi stoped. She was not sher if she wanted to serve a God who whod kill someone so young. Someone who realy was wanting to serve him. She closed the folder. When she was ready to comit herself she whod go back to the letter. And read the rest, it was the lest she could not to insult her friends wishes.

Katie had read over everything cout less times. She had even read several books out of the bibble she had been given. She still did not undder stand the consept of it all. She picked up the phone and called lexi maybe she had some ancers. Lexi picked up on the forth ring. “helow” she could tell something was up with her frind just by the soud of her voice. “hi lexi its me.” she said back into the resever. “oh hay Katie. . . ” Katie thout for a moment, maybe this conversahon was beter to do in person. “hay want to meat me at java joes?” thare was a pause. “ um ok..” she said back. “when can you be thare.” another pause. “thirty minints.” she replyed “ok see you then lexi” “ ok bye” “bye”

Katie went to her computer and printed out her leter from Amber.

Lexi was thinnking maybe Katie had some ancers, so she printed out her letter from Amber. Without reading the bottom.

Thay met at the coffie shop, orderd thare coffies and sat at a table near the back. “I wanted to ask you about all this God stuff.” Katie was strate to the point. Just like she had allways been. “ me too” lexi said pulling out her leter from her pocket. Katie did the same. “whats your say?” Katie pointed to the letter in her friends hand. “stuff about God dieing for us when we were his enmy. . .” lexi stoped for a minit. “with a prayer to esept him. At the end of it.” it was qwite when the water brout thare drinks to them. “mines just about the same too” it was qwite. “ what do you think about it?” lexi asked her. “im realy not shere what to belve.” Katie replyed. “what whod Amber want us to do?” lexi asked another question. “ I think we both know the ancer to that- to serve God with all of our harts minds body and soles.” kaite looked up at lexi with tears in her eyes. “she told me that right before we had our fight. I-I-” she was sobing now. “ I just wish I whod not have been so stupd!” Katie looked off in the distance. Amber had to told her that. “I think we all do, and I know we all wish we whod have spent more time with her.” lexi nodded wiing the tears from her eyes. Lexi opend her letter and placed in in frunt of her. Katie did the same. Lexi reced aross the table grabed kaites hands and bowed her head. Looking at the first line of the prayer part of the letter. She said “lets pray” Katie had tears comeing from her eys now too as thay bowed thare heads. Not careing if someone saw or what thay thout. Lexi started reading the letter. “dear God, please help my friends today. Help us know that whare ever we are, that you will be with us allways. Help us know that sin is not ok, or cool. Help us follow you. God we give our all to you. Our hart, our body and our sole. We do not want anything in our lives that whod not please or honor you. So please take us back. We will do what you want us to do, from hear on out. Dear God, thank you for saveing us. Amen.” thay looked up aqt echo her. Both with more tears that had flown sence the funarul. Thay sat thare talking about what thay had just done. And saying thay needed to start going to ambers old church. Thay went thare seprat ways in body, but now thay were sisters in crist.

A few weeks later. Katie had the best idea she had had in a long time. She called lexi to tell her about it. “helow” lexi sounded groggy. She looked at her wach. She had forgotten that lexi liked to sleep in on Saturdays. “ I had the best idea ever!” she sqwelled into the phone. “ and whats that.” lexi sounded a little annoyed. “the no grater love foundfashon!” “the what?” lexi shounedd more alurt and more awake now. “ the no grater love foundashon. We bye a bilding space and make a musim of ambers art and poems and piuc of her hanging them on the wall. We whod carge 10$ for adults and 8$ for children. At the end of the tour we whod have a prayer room for anyone who wanted to esept jesus. And any profit we make whod go to sending food and suplyes to missnarys all over the world” it was qwite for a moment and kaite was afrade lexi did not like the idea. “ that sounds GRATE!!!” lexi was shouting into the phone

Six munths later thre little store frunt musim opend up. It was a prity popular hit to. About 1 in every 10 pepol at the end of the tour whod esept jesus as thare personal lord and saveour. Each moth thay donted 1600 dollars to missnarrys around the world.

Lexi was walking in the musim with a huge box. “whats that?” Katie asked pointing to the box. “it’s a nother pic of Amber.” Katie smiled and got up to help her frind. Thay opend the box up and hug the picer on the wall along with a plate at the bottom that said. ‘the last day of my life’ and when you looked up. You saw a casor radon. Skinny girl with almost no hair. Who was just skin and bones smiling next to her frind. But the smile on her face shone with the love and compassion of God. Lexi wiped her eyes. “what the matter.” Katie asked. “ I just kant help but think that, when we see her agin, she will look healthy agin.” Katie nodded. “ya I understand.” the two friends stood thare looking at the photo of thare desesed frind who even in deth was still working for God. “you know what lexi?” kaite asked. “what?” lexi said wiping her eyes. “ I geus art does realy save after all” Katie said. “ I it realy does doesn’t it?” lexi leafed.

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