Secrets, possibly a hidden meaning that couldn’t be shared between more than one person a piece. Maybe in this world it does not mean to be alone, but more separated and surrounded by yourself. It hurts! The way I feel and the way I don’t want to feel In other words cut and bruised. My thoughts continue further about what to do and what not, a tugging feeling held in-between happiness and mistakes, horrifying maybe and possibly scary. I’m shrugged against a solid white wall where even my breath can echo, alone! No possible ending. Where no one else can travel, a place and world I have created. This wall which I lay my hand flat on this lifeless surface, gently, silent and most cold; I feel my body send shivers down my spine, I step back. My head turns in all possible directions known to man himself, Then out the wall I hear “take me now” It stung my ears instantly, I scream from the agony not knowing it was I hidden behind this blank wall. I felt the place pulling me to gravity as if the whole thing was actually real, I couldn’t believe that it was, this whole time that I have not acknowledged my own ways. My bravery vanished and my eyes grew wide, wide enough to allow that one moment to clang from my eye straight down to my bony ankles. My arms grew weak almost as weak as a defenseless sheet of paper, possibly as lifeless too. The tears on my face seeped as acid burning through my skin and make terrors that pained of war, I allowed these scars since my face had already been tainted by hopeless defeat. That one moment symbolized my whole life of that one terrifying moment, no lies to identify the shedding rage of a angry child. I feel deadly, a walking skeleton as my bones make music and cling together clamping the ground sprouting roots with no nutrients while being held down with lifeless hands. They bleed, and bleed, screaming “don’t go” leave her alone! My eyes were shattered from the dead so my sight separates and I see pictures of my life instead of the full view. The white wall finally uncovers itself and out comes the living room sofa with its plaid design and the lonely long cold hall way, it seemed to travel for miles. I stand lifeless, my hair in my face with skin as pail as death himself. The door slams; I walk crippled to the door and slightly push it open. My mom lies dead on my bed, I look down and notice a bloody knife in my hand and my shirt was flooded with her innocent blood. I drop the knife and revile my murderous hands to my own sensitive eyes. At that very moment I died on the inside, I catch my father laughing on the sleigh with a hidden message held captive. My knees fell heavy along with my body that landed on my mothers. The wall turns white again as my hands still lay on the bland wall. The echo comes again, but this time the mirror stands clear in from of me. I don’t see my face which I don’t ever expect too! I look up and see my mother smiling repeating this was never your fault; I couldn’t live without her so I grabbed the knife and held it to my neck with my father’s acknowledgment. She frowned then grabbed the knife from my hand, she wiped the tears from my eyes, I touched her hand she then pulled me close. Her smile wipes my mind of all that was wrong, all I’ve done and all that have ever happen, and all that I once loved.
March 2, 2011