It had been nine months since Adam last talked to Alicia. He had no plans of seeing her that night either. He knew it was her from the moment he walked in the door and inhaled a deep breath of Coco Chanel. The smell was almost intoxicating, just like it had always been since their early days of high school. He immediately looked in the direction of the smell and he saw her. Her blonde curls fell loosely down her back as they always had, her perfect complexion was still perfect, and her deep blue eyes still had a glow about them. Nothing has changed, Adam thought to himself, she is still just as beautiful as she was the day she left. There she was sitting alone in a booth at the edge of the bar area, toying with her phone. He watched in amazement at her graceful motions from sipping her drink to running her fingers through her hair. He had no idea what to do, whether to talk to her or just let her be. He decided that he needed a drink to help him decide.

It had been over a year since they had broken up, the end turned out a lot worse than they both expected. Alicia was going to attend med school and he had plans to go to aviation school. They had begun to make plans for the future, until he decided that aviation was not the career he wanted to follow through with. Alicia had high expectations of them both and their future lives together. She just kept pressuring him, telling him that if he didn’t figure out what he wanted then they weren’t going to make it. Med school was not going to be easy for Alicia, she was the type that had to really strive for perfection. She was smart, but she really had to try hard. Alicia knew that she couldn’t attend school if she was always stressing about their relationship so she decided to cut it off. They’d been together since high school, so when she first told him it was over he didn’t believe it. To this day he still doesn’t really believe it. He always had the idea in his head that when he figured out exactly what he wanted, she would come running back. They tried to remain friends throughout the end of the break up, that lasted a few months, until she realized he was making no effort to work it out. She cut him off completely, hoping to get through to the only boy she ever loved, but he didn’t seem to care. At least that’s what Alicia thought, deep down he really did care though.

The bar was crowded for a Wednesday evening, but he managed to find an empty stool so he climbed up and ordered a drink. At first he didn’t notice the tall dude next to him, he must have been waiting because he was simply standing there and every few seconds he would glance at his watch. The guy soon received two drinks from the bartender and began walking in the direction of Alicia. Adam looked over his shoulder to see if Alicia had noticed him yet and he noticed that the guy that was just standing next to him was about to sit down next to her. Adam’s stomach dropped, his face flushed, and his eyes filled with jealousy. For a moment he wanted to walk over that way she had no choice but to notice him, but then he noticed the bright smile that came across Alicia’s face as she was talking to the other guy. He hadn’t seen her smile like that since months before their break up. Adam was beginning to feel very upset with himself for not going over there earlier when he felt Alicia’s eyes sink into him. Alicia suddenly stood up, walked over to him, and asked him how he was doing. He tried to look happy, but he was having a difficult time doing it knowing that she was out on a date with another guy. A few moments later, the guy Alicia was with walked over with a cocky smile. Adam wondered if this dude knew who he was. Alicia apologized for not introducing them sooner, then she introduced the guy as her fiancé. At that moment, Adam’s heart broke into a billion pieces and he excused himself from the happy couple.

Adam made his way home quickly that night, he really just wanted to get as far away from that run down bar as possible, but he didn’t have the gas. How could he have let somebody like her go was the thought he could not get out of his head. He sat thinking for hours on his back porch with a bottle in his hand. He reminisced on all of the memories they shared over the years. He sat their devastated until finally something clicked, Alicia honestly seemed happier that she had ever been. Even when she saw him her smile remained just as genuine as it was before she noticed Adam sitting at the bar alone. He was glad that she was happy, so glad, but he didn’t want to live life without her. Adam knew there would never be a girl like Alicia and that was the one girl he wanted. Toward the early hours of the morning Adam finally stopped thinking, he was emotionally drained, he went inside quietly and went upstairs. When Adam got upstairs he went to his bed side table and pulled out a pistol, he also pulled out a love note he had written to Alicia a few weeks ago. Before he pulled the trigger he sat the note on the bed, and the note read “I couldn’t imagine living without you and I am sorry.”