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Still a Child

By , Circle Pines, MN
Oh I was on the hunt today! I was hunting for the soul I left behind many years ago. I've been retracing my steps to look for my dear little child I used to be. The last time I saw my soul was when I stared down a deep vessel whose contents burned corruption down my throat until it settled in my stomach where it locked the door to my childhood. Why did I no longer hear the crying of a once innocent voice whose identity I chose to orphan in a bottle. I want it back! with all of my being I wish to find where I went wrong.

Unfortunately there is now a damning stranger at my door keeping me from my dear and sweet soul that is still in the deep hollow. I have clashed swords with this stranger and have pounded on the thick walls with no hope of breaking this barrier that I built up. Then just as the clouds began raining down along with tears that echoed the sound of my inner soul I heard a voice that was not mine. I dropped my sword and quit fighting the stranger which had blocked my way to an old life I had forgotten all about. The voice was almost familiar, it wasn't my long lost soul or the impassible guardian who's face I could not recognize.

It was divine and awesome. It told me to quit fighting myself, I had been clashing swords with my conscious and beating at the walls I had put up. The voice said "you are my son and I still love you. you are still a child and my friend and I have given my son who shed his blood to open the door for you. You have now shut this door on your own life. Just accept the gift I have given you and turn away from the vessel who's slippery neck sucked your soul into a unsuspecting place." Then I realized I have had my innocence all this time. Then the clouds I thought were raining down on me had disappeared and the sun had replaced its darkness. Then I smiled and realized I didn't need to search anymore for what wasn't lost to begin with. I had just closed my eyes to the obvious.





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