Deceitful Disguise... | Teen Ink

Deceitful Disguise...

December 22, 2010
By TooBrokenToBeBeautiful GOLD, Bethel, Alaska
TooBrokenToBeBeautiful GOLD, Bethel, Alaska
11 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are many things in this world that we cannot change, no matter how desperately we try. Just remember, stay brave...even if it feels like your world is crumbling around you." -Anonymous


Want to come and see my performance? Do you want to see how well I can act? How I have painted my mask, and how well I can wear it?

The next time you see me in school, you shall see me do a perfect demonstration. My painted smile and my carelessness is all a play, an act…a show, simply deceit in disguise. I walk these halls with feigned freedom and disguised d***ation. Every hollow laugh and forced smile somehow hides all that is festering deep within me…

And behind all this deceit, lies and trickery lies a part of myself that is hardly been touched by the hearts and hands of even my best friends. My depression and addictions are locked away in a box I never want opened again…and that box is caged, keeping any wandering hearts at bay…keeping me from letting anybody close…

Who holds the key that can open me back up? None other than the person who made me lock up…or shall I say people? I have locked away my trust because of her, I have chained up my heart because of him, and I keep my hopes weighted down because of many…and everything I have within me is draped with hurt and confusion because of these constant assaults by my personal bullies.

So when you watch me walking these hallways with a smile plastered across my face, take a closer look, and you might see the “real” me…not the one that is a fake, a lie…a dream. You might see the me who is screaming in agonizing pain, lost in confusion and ready to throw my hands in the air…in surrender…


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