Appreciation

November 20, 2010
The sun had gone long ago and the car refused to start. Once again, I’m stuck in the early hours of the morning and all because my mom forgot to put gas in the car. It’s midwinter and I’m freezing. I breathed on my hands to warm them up a bit and finally got the car started.
I pulled out of the parking lot and drove onto the road, the city, almost completely dark, made me feel so alone. What was the point of this? Day in and day out, doing the same crap over and over again, for what? A little pay raise? This isn’t working.
Is there really a reason for me to continue on? I don’t have many friends and the ones that I consider friends rarely ever speak to me. It seems as though no one really takes notice of me. A ghost who’s still alive.

Suddenly, a bright light illuminated off of the dashboard, piercing my thoughts. It was my phone, notifying me of a text. Wondering who could possibly be texting me at this hour, I read the message.
“Come to my place, got something to show you” A message from my friend, John.
I looked at the time and saw it was 4:30 in the morning. The night’s gone, so I figured why not go.
The sun was coming up as I pulled into his driveway and knocked on the door. He answered fully dressed, but in a suit, which I found peculiar.
“Take my hand,” he said.
I took it, and suddenly we were surrounded in total darkness. I heard his voice saying, “You were thinking about how no one cares. How you are unimportant to everyone else. However, this is not true”
Suddenly he was standing beside me and we were in my kitchen. The familiar smell of old wood drifted toward me and I look out through the window. The sky was overcast. I saw my mom, crying at the table, looking at an old family photo of our trip to Mexico. However, upon closer inspection, it seems as if I was erased from the photo. As if I’d never been born.
“You see, your mom is seperated, because you were never there to cheer her up. Her job wasn’t always the easiest, and you were her small spot of happiness as soon as she came home. Because you were never born, she couldn’t take it, and moved out, to be alone” His voice rang out, however it was as if it was coming from inside me.
Confused, I was jerked away by my friend’s hand and then we were at a college dorm room. I saw my childhood best friend, Sarah, and she was dressed in all black sitting at a desk. She was staring at a piece of paper that said, “you never know what you’ve got til it’s gone,”
John reached over and handed me the note. I don’t remember actually taking the note but I checked my pockets right after and there it was.
Sarah had a solemn expression on her face, and she seemed to be sad about something. John’s voice once again rang out, “Sarah has been your friend since you two were in kindergarten, you were there to comfort her, to help her with anything she needed, and because you weren’t born, she didn’t have anyone to be there for her”
I now understood. John was like my guardian angel, showing me that I mattered.
But before I could reach out to him and look at him, he vanished. The room around me started melting and I heard a deafening beep. It was loud and repeated every second. I tried covering my ears until I couldn’t take it anymore. I passed out and everything went black
I woke up in my bed, my alarm ringing, and I couldn’t believe it. It was all just a dream, right? I ran to my window and saw my car neatly parked in the driveway, no scratches or anything. Looking at the time, I realized I was late for a meeting. As I grabbed my pants, I reached into my pockets, and found a small piece of paper. On it, scribbled in pencil it said, “You never know what you’ve got til it’s gone”. I flipped it over and it said, “You never know what you’re missing til it arrives” This whole experience, gave me a new outlook on life. It seemed that from then on, everyone was glad to see me. Especially John.





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