The Vandals

October 8, 2010
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“Here son, this is the house of that stupid man Jacob Webbster.” “Jeremy I want you to make this man’s life horrible once you turn 13. I said”

“Ok daddy,” Jeremy said, as we were going passed Jacob’s house on our way to Blueville Elementary School, a nice little blue school with the nicest teachers any kid or parent could wish for, for Jeremy’s first day of kindergarten. This is where my story begins; me a 30 year old man who is very hateful, and sick of everyone being cheerful, telling my 5 year old son, that when he turns 13 start to ruin Jacob Webbster’s life. Jeremy is my son, a short and skinny 5 year old boy with short blond hair and hazel eyes who will do whatever I tell him. Jacob is a man who loves children and when someone near him is upset he will try as hard as he can to cheer him/her up. He is tall, thin and wears black-rimmed glasses and is always joyful and loving even when people treat him like crap, this is the reason why I wanted his life to be ruined.

On Jeremy’s thirteenth birthday, my wife and I give him $1000 that he can spend however he wanted and a baseball bat. We also gave him $2000 to buy things to help ruin Jacob’s life and let him keep the left over money. Then we went shopping to buy some things with the $2000 we gave him. Jeremy buys 100 eggs, some baseballs, toilet paper, and some materials to make some homemade slime.

The next night we had Jeremy go over to Jacob’s house wearing black clothes and carrying a black bag and told him stay hidden. When there was no one looking he teepee Jacob’s yard, and poured water on the toilet paper so it would not be easy to clean up , threw eggs at his house and dump a bucket of slime on his driveway and porch. We then had him come home, get dressed and go to bed for the night. “My wife and I then went for a walk to see how Jeremy had done, we were very proud of him.”

The next day I walked Jeremy to school and we passed by Jacob’s house on the way, expecting him to be furious and to be cleaning up the mess, but to our disappointment Jacob in a very expensive black suit was out whistling, getting into his nice and expensive black car. His house, yard, porch, and driveway were spotless. That night we had Jeremy go back in the same outfit and at the same time of night to try again, this time we had him dump glue all over the toilet paper instead of water and still threw a lot of eggs at Jacob’s house.

The next day I took Jeremy to school to see Jacob’s yard , hoping he would be mad, but he was smiling while slowly cleaning up the remains At the moment he was cleaning up the eggs that covered his house. “What is wrong with this man?” We thought. That night we had Jeremy dump slime all over his yard and throw a lot more eggs at his house. “The next day I walked Jeremy to school again hoping to see Jacob working hard to clean the mess up with an angry face, again Jacob was cleaning his yard with a smile on his face.”

I was so mad at Jacob because of his reactions, I clenched my hands into fists, so I made some homemade bombs. I myself went to Jacob’s house and buried the bombs throughout his yard with nice green and neatly mowed lawn. I then went about twenty yards away and detonated them simultaneously. The whole neighborhood woke to a sudden noise. When I got home Jeremy asked what the noise was and I told him “That noise was the sound of victory.” The next morning I walked my son to school again but I was not allowed to go down that street because there was yellow crime scene tape around that area. That night on the news I saw that apparently some shrapnel had hit a woman in the eye and she had been taken to the hospital. I then saw that when police arrived, they thought that Jacob was the man who did this, I was so happy. The reporters then said that Jacob had shown the police that it was not him that detonated the bombs. Security cameras around and inside his house caught the whole thing on film. It even showed the person who had laid the bombs and also showed him/her running away. The person in the tape could not be identified so that relieved me. Then I thought. “Oh crap that must mean that they have Jeremy on tape too.

I then went over to Jacob’s house and I asked him, “Could you show me the tapes for the past few days?” He agreed and when I did not see Jeremy, I asked, “Are these all the tapes for the past week?”

He said, “Yes, why.”

I said, “The reason is I saw that someone was vandalizing your yard and I was just checking to see if the culprit had been caught on tape.”

Jacob then said, “The cameras must not have caught them.” Then I went home and said to my wife and son. “We were not caught.”

I devised a plan where we would disable the cameras and any security system Jacob might have, and then have Jeremy break in and steal Jacob’s most valuable items. We went ahead with our plan that night, bur I wish we had stopped before I made the plan. Jeremy broke in right after the cameras were disabled and all of a sudden something grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. Jeremy was startled and looked into the smiling face of Jacob Webbster. Jacob gave Jeremy a stern talk about what he had been doing the past week and then Jacob called me and had me come over. “I am very disappointed in both of you,” Jacob said “you do know I knew it was you all along.”

I said. “No I am sorry for our actions and I take full responsibility for them.”

“I accept your apology and I will not call the police and report you if you both promise to never do anything like this again to anyone,” Jacob said

“We promise that we will never do anything like this again,” Jeremy and I said together.

“Thank you,” Jacob said.





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