Drip. Drip. I sit on the hood of my car feeling the scarce drops of rain pick up into a constant drizzle. I watched the waves smack across the rocks below and thought about how close my front tires were to the ledge. I also thought about falling. Drip. Drip. Drip. The rain picked up. If I fell would I fall in terror? Would I flail my limbs, would I let out a shrill scream that would pierce my ears, would I try to grab on to any protruding rock available and pull myself to safety? Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. The rain really started to come down, and I started slipping forward on the car. I pulled myself back and got a firm grip on the edge of the hood. I suppose it should have scared me, but I remained calm. I hoped if I fell it would be the same, calm. I hoped I would realize it was what I really wanted. I loosened my grip and let my body slowly slide forward. All I had to do was loosen my fingers a bit more and it would happen, I would get what I’ve been wanting for months now. As quickly as the thought came to my mind it left and my grip suddenly tightened so hard my knuckles turned white. That’s not what you would have wanted. You would have wanted me to hop in my car and go home. You would have called me a silly girl and told me to never go near that ledge again. You couldn’t do that anymore, so why should I listen to you? Drip. Drip. The tears slowly started to tumble down my cheeks. Thoughts of you consumed my head. Random memories played like movie clips in front of my eyes. Us laughing in Science class, the first time you called me, you knocking on my window, our first kiss, you asking me to prom, those headlights in my eyes, your funeral. Drip. Drip. I let go.
Drip Drip Drip
October 4, 2010