Rain trickles down the window outside this bedroom. Tap, tap, tap. Slow and steady. I wait, I listen. I try and remember what it was like before. Before you went and left me all alone. Before my world came crashing down and I ended up in this prison I’m supposed to call my home. Before…that night. They say it was the snow. That the ice covered the road. They say it was too dark, that I was too drunk, that we were too wild. They say…They say it wasn’t my fault. That it could’ve been anyone in that passenger seat. But it was you. The same person who always made me laugh, who held me when I cried, the only one who ever understood. But it was late, 3 am, they say, by the time anyone found us on that old road. You whispered to me, you pleaded with your beautiful eyes, “Why?” I cried and screamed until my voice went dry. I desperately tried to stop the blood, there was so much. But the steering wheel was too heavy, the night was swallowing us too fast, and I was too late. The police finally arrived, their sirens pierced the night. they patched me up, told me I was lucky to be alive. If only I felt lucky as they dragged me to court, my Miranda rights ringing in my ears. They couldn’t put me in jail, I had too clean a record. I was on suicide watch until they gave up and brought me to this, my living hell. They give me so many pills that I’ve lost count. They say if I will only forget everything and succumb, that I can leave. But they don’t understand. The rain taps outside my window and I know it is you. I hear you plead one final time. But don’t worry, I will never forget