Dear Hayley,

Where have you gone? I miss you desperately. I’m afraid I have lost you for good, though I am hoping I’m wrong. I hate that it’s just me, a single body, existing alone in this world of enriched people walking all around me. People with smiles and laughs and souls. People who aren’t missing their soul, like I am. After all, since you’ve been lost, I’m just an empty body, wanting something more to fill the void inside of me.

Everyday since you’ve left, I’ve run through all the motions, fooling people all around me that I’m the same old Hayley as before. No one seems to notice the difference, and I know that bothers you. It bothers me, too. Can’t they clearly see that this body is shriveled and withered and weakened? Can’t they see there’s a gaping wound, a stunning emptiness inside my chest where your warm soul used to sleep? Can’t they see the tension in my muscles, the stress in my face, the sadness in my eyes? I know it upsets you; all the warning signs are crystal clear, yet no one sees it or cares. You’re wondering: What’s the point of existing if no one even knows I’m gone? But there is a point- and I need you.

A body just isn’t the same without a soul. The dead are just bodies; their souls have gone on to inhabit other bodies or materialize into other things. A body is a piece of flesh, something without an owner or a purpose, at least without a soul occupied inside. A soul completes a body to equal a whole human. People without souls are scary and vicious, if not totally deadened. And you’re none of those things, and never could be. I know you’re around here somewhere, but Hayley, where did you go?

It’s so easy to crawl deep down, to sink into a dark place and lose yourself. So many people do it. But you’re not like them, Hayley. You’re better than that. You’re a feisty, kick a** girl with a killer confidence that people only wish they had. Yet you’re throwing it all to the wolves below without even looking back. Don’t lose yourself, Hayley. You’re too valuable of a human to be lost and forgotten.

I miss every little thing about you, even if others don’t notice the changes. When you’re around, our smile lights up a room- even with that annoying little right-cheek dimple. When you’re around, your laughter creates movement. It erupts from deep down inside your belly and explodes from your lips in tiny giggles that cause others to laugh themselves. When you’re around, your confidence is through the room and your ambition is almost tangible. Together, we equal an amazing human being with so much possibility and personality, it’s hard to believe it’s genuinely real. I need you to be with me forever and always so we’ll always make up the wonderful person that is Hayley.

I know it isn’t too late; you’re around here somewhere. At times I feel your giggles come out. Other times I see that twinkle in my beautiful brown eyes and I know you’re in there, wanting to shine through and be alive and happy and gorgeous. I know times are tough now and that you’re a little battered up and unsure of yourself. But as long as you know you’re a talented, beautiful, smart, hilarious, interesting, genuine, caring, loving, thoughtful and passionate human being, you’ll excel at whatever comes your way- good or bad. I know it because I’ve seen it, so come back and prove me right again.

Love,

Your Body