The cool crisp air whipped through our hair. Vibrations bounced off every note into our ears as the music blasted. Trees blurred by as the speedometer climbed. It was one of those early fall late nights. To feel the rush, I extended one hand on the seat to lift myself up and out the window while one hand remained on the steering wheel. Everything was happening so fast. My voice was loud as I screamed at the feeling of freedom, of being free, of risk. My best friend sat in the passengers singing at the top of her lungs with me. The wheel suddenly jerked out of my control. My world was spinning but I couldn’t understand what was happening. Everything was going so fast. The car smashed to a stop. My body jolted forward against the force of the car hitting the tree. I swear I heard a scream. I just laid there helpless. I couldn’t move. Everything was still racing by but yet going so slow at the same time. Blood trickled through the pain flowing out my body. My right leg felt lifeless, my body was shaking, my head left pounding and throbbing coming from my left leg as it stays trapped under the car. Everything hurt to be honest but I couldn’t feel any specific pain. I couldn’t focus at all. I couldn’t open my eyes then everything would be real. I just wanted to awake from this nightmare. I wanted to cry but I forgot how. I wanted my Mom. Words just wouldn’t come out. Sarah!? Where was Sarah!? I completely forgot about her until now. My eyes fought against me to open. Little slivers of glass fell in. I searched for her but everything was so blurry and I couldn’t find her. I tried to move, I swear I did. My body wouldn’t respond. Lights flashed and sirens roared. My head pounded even harder. What happened next I can’t recall to tell you. I remember waking up in a bed, a hospital bed. My mom was holding my hand, crying. The police officer was standing by her side. He told me my best friend was killed in our car accident. I didn’t know what to feel, I didn’t understand what he was trying to say. I looked at my Mom. I lost it. I lost all control I had left. I was driving. I started screaming. The tears didn’t come out fast enough. So many emotions hit me at the same time. I killed my best friend. He then continued to tell me I was going to prison for murder. I didn’t care honestly. After all, I was a murderer. I live to tell this story; she died to show the impact. My body’s no longer alive, this cell is cold but my heart feels colder. I never meant to kill her, but I ran the risk, now my risk is left with my best friend dead.
July 24, 2010